Importance of Self-Compassion

laura on 26/07/2021

At some point in our lives, we all have heard the phrase that ‘charity begins at home’! Most of us accept it and even preach it to others when the opportunity for sharing wisdom arises (yeah, we are good at that!). The essence of the above phrase is seated in the value of compassion or kindness towards others. Compassion is empathy, kindness and understanding for others during suffering or challenging times.

So, I have a question for you – have you ever heard that ‘compassion starts with self?’ Probably, not, aside from that fact that I made the phrase up. Chances are that self-compassion is an alien concept and only comes into our lives through social media memes. So let me give you a brief snap shot and advocate the case for ‘self-compassion’ as an essential in our lives.

A simple google search will define ‘self-compassion’ along the lines of empathy, understanding and kindness towards one’s own self, when big or small life challenges happen. Kristen Neff, the world’s leading researcher on self-compassion, has identified three main components to it:

1. Self-kindness vs Self-judgement: treating ourselves with kindness and understanding when we fail, suffer or feel inadequate as opposed to ignoring our needs or belittling ourselves

2. Common-humanity vs Isolation: remembering that everyone fails and suffers at times and that we are not the only ones.

3. Mindfulness vs Over-identification: taking a balanced approach to our challenges and emotions, without over-identifying with heavy emotions or situations.

Kristen’s research has contributed significantly to understanding the importance of practicing self-compassion in daily life and more so when experiencing mental health challenges. Self-compassion also forms a crucial part of my own therapy model and aims at supporting and empowering clients, by helping them connect and understand their own emotions and situations. A simple activity that I encourage client’s to do is to treat themselves at the end of the day, each day. This can be as simple as listening to some music, having a cuppa or going for a walk. Practice makes one perfect!

So, I invite you to explore self-compassion for yourself and incorporate it in small ways within your daily life. Self-compassion will be the strongest script that you can have for yourself. If you would like to work on further developing your skills, our psychologists at Your Mind Matters will be happy to assist you.

Source: self-compassion.org

This blog was written by Prabha Mishr, psychologist at Your Mind Matters Psychology Services. She works with us 2 days per week (day sessions).

Prabha is passionate about building strong rapport with clients and establishing a collaborative relationship. As a practitioner, her belief is that ‘no one size fits all’ and so uses a combination of psychoeducation and research-based interventions such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and play-based therapy to help support clients to reach their goals.

Dealing with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder

laura on 01/10/2018

Bipolar Disorder is a mood disorder characterized by episodes of depression and mania. You may know this condition by its former title, “manic-depression”.

Like any physical health condition, sharing a diagnosis of a mental health condition with family and friends is of paramount importance. Given the nature of bipolar disorder, where depressive episodes may contribute to isolation and manic episodes may lead to impulsive decision making, open communication can not only help better manage your symptoms but also reduce stigma. Here are some suggestions to better communicate your diagnosis:

Educate family and friends: Important people in your life may have limited knowledge about bipolar disorder and are likely to have some misconceptions around the condition. Educating them will not only address any myths around the condition but will create a better support network. Remember to remain calm and avoid being defensive. As frustrating as it can be that you loved ones may not understand your illness, keep in mind that at first, it probably took you a while to understand it. Direct your friends and family to important websites where they can learn more and talk to them about your treatment plan. If you feel you need their support to cope with the condition, openly share these feelings with them. Your ability to educate them will normalise your diagnosis and open gates of further communication. Give them the official definition, and credit the source, rather than relying on misconceptions and myths, your family and friends will turn to you to clarify and ask questions.

Create a support team: Decide a list of people who you think will benefit from knowing and understanding the diagnosis. Openly share your symptoms with your support team and let them know what type of support you may need. Preparing them will only ease the process of receiving support.

Building acceptance & setting boundaries: Acceptance from others that you may not be able to make sound judgements during episodes of depression or mania can ease the process of asking for support. You could benefit from using your support network and have people looking out for you. But it’s equally important to set some boundaries so that you don’t feel that you are always being watched. Hence why openly talking about creating a plan around acceptance of your condition and setting boundaries with loved ones will help better manage your condition.

It’s important to remember that bipolar disorder can be a lifelong condition and therefore is likely to involve ongoing conversations. However remember that with better treatment, and learning new coping skills, the effects of bipolar disorder will diminish in your life. It’s best not to feel frustrated by constant questions about what it’s like to live with bipolar disorder, the ones that ask probably ask because they care. The more you embrace it, the easier it becomes to communicate about it.

If you are going through difficulties and need support, why not give us a call today? Our team of highly skilled and well-experienced Psychologists are here to help.

This blog was written by Aanchal Sood, Psychologist at Your Mind Matters.

Aanchal completed studies in psychopharmacology and psychology in England, and is fluent in both Hindi and Punjabi.

Aanchal has experience assisting adolescents, adults and couples to address a variety of difficulties including anxiety and mood disorders, grief and loss, trauma and stress related disorders, adjustment issues (e.g. cultural adjustment), sleep difficulties, relationship difficulties, schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorders, obsessive compulsive and related disorders.

Aanchal works with us 1-2 evenings per week.

World Suicide Prevention Day

laura on 07/09/2016

World Suicide Prevention Day

10^th September 2016

The World Health Organization estimates that over 800,000 people in the world die by suicide each year – that’s one person every 40 seconds.

Facts about suicide in Australia

Suicide is the leading cause of death for men and women between the ages of 15-44
The population death rates are around 10/100,000 people every year
Annual number of deaths by suicide in Australia is around 2,500 each year
65,000 plan or attempt to take their life each year
400,000 people think about taking their life each year
The Global Burden of Disease Report cited 36 million years of healthy life were lost as a result of suicide in 2010

The tragic ripple effect means that there are many, many more people who have been bereaved by suicide or have been close to someone who have tried to take his or her own life, as well as those struggling to manage suicidal ideation.

World Suicide Prevention Day events occurred in local communities across Australia. Check out the Events page to see what’s happened near you. To find out about events planned across the globe, go to the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) page: http://wspd.org.au/events/

IF YOU NEED HELP

Getting through difficulties on your own can be difficult. Talk to friends, family, your doctor, other health professionals or a telephone helpline about your substance use. The following will provide help and assistants and point you in the right direction if you need further help.

Suicide Call BACK 1300 659 467, support if you, or someone you know, is feeling suicidal.
Kids Help Line (age 2-5) 1800 551 800, to talk to someone about anything that’s going on in life.
Life Line 13 11 14, support and advise in as personal crisis.

Coping with Bereavement

laura on 04/08/2016

Bereavement affects people in different ways. There’s no right or wrong way to feel.

Experts generally accept that people usually move through four stages of bereavement:

accepting that your loss is real
experiencing the pain of grief
adjusting to life without the person who has died
putting less emotional energy into grieving and putting it into something new (in other words, moving on)

You may go through stages, but you won’t necessarily move smoothly from one to the next. You may even get stuck at a stage. Your grief might feel chaotic and out of control, but these feelings will eventually become less intense….with time How long you ask? Good question, and there is no answer; grief is experienced differently among individuals, and unique to each loss.

You might feel:

Shock and numbness (this is usually the first reaction to the death, and people often speak of being in a daze)
Overwhelming sadness, with lots of crying
Tiredness or exhaustion
Anger, for example towards the person who died, their illness or God
Guilt, for example guilt about feeling angry, about something you said or didn’t say, or about not being able to stop your loved one dying
Some people become forgetful and less able to concentrate.

Coping with grief

We all cope with grief differently, and what is helpful varies from person to person. You may try:

Talking and sharing your feelings with someone is often the most helpful thing you can do. You may speak with friends, family, colleagues, or a healthcare professional (e.g. psychologist, psychiatrist, GP).
For some people, relying on family and friends is the best way to cope, But if you don’t feel you can talk to them much (perhaps you aren’t close, or they’re grieving too), you may benefit from engaging in self-care activities. These may include: exercise, pampering, going for a long walk, visiting a much-loved place, reading a book, walking the dog. Self-care is all about you, and doing what you enjoy or find relaxing.
If distraction works well for you, get busy and productive!

If you’re out of ideas for self-care, head here: http://elishagoldstein.com/assets/183-pleasurable-activities-to-choose-from.pdf

Most importantly, be patient and compassionate, with yourself and others.

If you are having trouble with a loss, give our team a call and arrange a consultation with one of our psychologists.

World Suicide Prevention Day

10th September 2016

IF YOU NEED HELP

10^th September 2016