Your Mind Matters, Author at Your Mind Matters

Men’s Health Week

Your Mind Matters on 09/06/2017

Two men talking quietly over coffee in a Melbourne café, one listening closely to his friend

Men’s Health Week: why men are less likely to ask for help

Although it’s very normal for my peers and me to see a psychologist for support, we psychologists are very much aware of the stigma around seeking this type of assistance, which is even more amplified for men.

Why? One reason is because you must be “crazy” to see us. This is completely untrue. We are all a work in progress and we can always tweak things to make our lives better. Actually, we have many professionals (e.g. Doctors, Accountants, Lawyers) come to see us to ensure they continue working well in their very stressful jobs and don’t become distressed – they have decided that prevention is better than cure.

Another reason there is stigma around men seeing psychologists is because boys and men are typically socialised to not talk about their feelings, because it’s “girly” or more of a “woman’s thing”. Even from a very young age, how many boys are told “don’t cry like a girl” or if playing sport they may hear “you play/kick like a girl!”. The message in a nutshell: Don’t do anything girly!

What anger can hide: what others see is anger, and underneath there is often hurt, regret, sadness or guilt

Two myths that stop men asking for help: you have to be crazy to see a psychologist, and talking about feelings is a woman's thing

These are some reasons why women are more likely to get help than men. In fact, among Australians who experienced a mental disorder in the past year, only 39 per cent of men saw a health professional for their mental health, compared to 52 per cent of women (Harris et al., 2025). This is quite alarming to us, as more than three in four people who die by suicide in Australia are men, and suicide is the leading cause of death for Australians aged 15 to 44 (ABS, 2025). We also know that boys show greater susceptibility to family stress, especially in the development of conduct disorders, and they continue to be more susceptible to both physical and psychological problems throughout the lifespan (Wilson et al., 1992).

Unfortunately, many men who do not access support turn to drugs or alcohol, which tends to compound mental health problems and can cause many men’s lives to spiral out of control. Often by the time young men are asking for help, health professionals only see a drug or alcohol problem, not the underlying illness. Early intervention is key!

We also have many clients referred for anger management, but underneath that anger is usually hurt, regret, sadness or guilt. Recently, I’ve had some male clients who have come to therapy as part of a court order for anger management. They have expressed some uncertainty about the therapeutic process, and some have worried that they may offend or upset me because I am a female. My response to that is that:

It is completely normal to feel uncertain, this is all new and we are working with you in a manner that often goes against societal norms;
If you are angry, I know it is not personal, but it’s a reflection of your circumstances. If you are open and honest with me (and yes, intense feeling will come up), then I can work with those feelings. If you hold back, it’s much harder for me to help.
I’ve heard cursing that would make a sailor blush! Trust me, it doesn’t offend me!

So, to all the boys and men out there, please do not let societal norms or stigma stop you from accessing the support you need. We went to university for many years so we’d have the privilege of helping you.

If you’re experiencing any intense feelings, or perhaps your family or partner keeps telling you to talk to someone, please call us on (03) 9802 4654.

Men’s Health Week is held each June. For a list of free Men’s Health Events in Victoria, head to Men’s Health Week Australia

For more information on the statistics related to men’s health: About Men’s Health Week

If you need support right now

If this is an emergency, call 000. For 24-hour support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or text 0477 13 11 14. MensLine Australia is available on 1300 78 99 78, the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467, and Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 for young people aged 5 to 25. More options are on our resources page.

References

Australian Bureau of Statistics. (2025). Intentional self-harm (suicide) deaths, 2024. ABS.

Harris, M. G., Tapp, C., Vescovi, J. J., Sunderland, M., Diminic, S., Chapman, C., Slade, T. N., Teesson, M., Pirkis, J., & Burgess, P. M. (2025). Consultation with health professionals for mental health in Australia in 2020–2022 and changes since 2007. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, 59(9), 810–823.

Wilson, G. T., O’Leary, K. D., & Nathan, P. (1992). Abnormal psychology. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall.

Laura Forlani smiling, in a portrait photograph

Our Blog Author
This post was written by Laura Forlani, Director and Senior Clinical Psychologist at Your Mind Matters. Laura works with children, adolescents and adults on mood and anxiety disorders and difficulties arising from changes in personal circumstances, using cognitive behaviour therapy, skills training and relaxation strategies. Meet our team.

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Supporting your children to learn two languages

Your Mind Matters on 16/05/2017

Mother reading a picture book aloud to her laughing young son on the sofa at home

Across the world, most individuals are either bilingual (speaking two languages) or multilingual (speaking multiple languages). Today in Australia, many children grow up being exposed to more than one language. While English remains the single community majority language spoken, a sizable proportion of the Australian population reported speaking a language other than English at home. That being said, parents often ask the question: Can I speak more than one language with my child?

Myths about bilingualism in children

Myth: Learning two languages is confusing for my child

Reality: When children use two languages in a sentence or a conversation, some parents worry that this is a sign of language confusion. However, code switching, or using two languages in a sentence or conversation, is common. In fact, some researchers view code switching as a sign of bilingual proficiency.

Five ways to support two languages at home: use the language you are comfortable with, play and sing, read and tell stories, follow your child's lead, model the right words

Myth or fact: keep your home language, bilingual children think in both languages, older learners can learn a second language, and children with a language delay can learn two

Myth: Learning two languages causes language delays

Reality: While it is true that some bilingual children may start saying their first words slightly later than their monolingual peers, they will still achieve their communication milestones just like their monolingual counterparts. For example, they will still say their first words between 8 and 15 months old. If your bilingual child is demonstrating significant delays in language milestone achievement, these delays may be caused by an underlying speech and language disorder, rather than bilingualism. Children with a communication disorder should be seen by a speech therapist.

Myth: Parents should use the ‘one-parent-one-language’ approach when teaching their children to speak two languages.

Reality: Some parents believe that by having each parent speak a different language to the child, the child will be exposed to both languages equally. Whilst this is one of the many ways you could introduce two languages to your child, there is no evidence to suggest that this is the best way to teach children two languages. There are many ways we can introduce two languages. The best way to communicate with your child is to use what is natural and comfortable to you.

Myth: If you want your child to speak English, you should stop speaking your home language with the child.

Reality: There is currently no evidence to suggest that the use of the second language in the home environment is needed for the child to successfully use this language in other social settings (e.g. at school). Parents should continue to use the home language with the child because there is evidence suggesting that a strong foundation in the home language can enhance second language learning. Preventing your child from learning the home language can also cause the child to feel isolated in the home environment.

Myth: Bilinguals need to translate from their first language to the second language when they communicate.

Reality: Bilingual children are capable of thinking in two languages. There is no evidence to suggest that bilingual children can only think in one language and then translate into the other language when necessary.

Myth: The older a person is, the harder it is to acquire a second language.

Reality: Although children are more likely to achieve native-like pronunciation when they start learning the second language at a young age, older children and adults are just as capable as young children to acquire a second language.

Myth: Children with special needs or a language delay are not capable of learning two languages

Reality: There is no evidence to suggest that children who have a language disorder are not able to acquire two languages. In fact, there is emerging evidence that suggests that learning two languages can be beneficial for children with additional needs. If a child can learn one language, the child will be able to learn two languages.

How to support bilingual language development

Speak to your child in the language that you are comfortable using.
Play games and sing songs in the language that you are fluent in.
Read and tell stories to your child.
Follow your child’s lead – if your child is interested in a particular book, keep talking about it and encourage your child to talk about it too.
Never criticise your child’s language, rather, model the correct use of language by repeating the statements back to him/her in the correct way.

If you are concerned about your child’s speech and language development, call us on (03) 9802 4654, or send us an email at admin@yourmindmatters.net.au.

Other useful resources

Learning Two Languages — ASHA

Raising multilingual and bilingual children — Raising Children Network

Video: supporting bilingual language development

Full article

Bilingualism in Young Children: Separating Fact from Fiction — The Hanen Centre

Our Blog Author
This post was written by Fiona Low, formerly a Speech Pathologist at Your Mind Matters. If your child is having difficulty with speech or language, our psychologists can help. Meet our team. This post is also available in Mandarin: 如何让孩子学习两种语言.

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Getting a better night’s sleep

Your Mind Matters on 05/05/2017

A couple in bed at dawn, one asleep and one lying awake, seen from the side and out of focus, with a glass of water and a book on the bedside table

Sleep is an important part of our well-being. Just ask a shift worker, a new mother, emergency service employees, a student studying for an exam, people who travel overseas for work… being tired and exhausted doesn’t feel good.

Sleep can affect:

How we feel
How we meet the demands of the day
How well we manage stress
Our body’s ability to rest and recover
Our ability to think, plan, concentrate, and focus
Our alertness and energy levels

What can impact on sleep?

Those experiencing anxiety or/and depression may find sleeping difficult, or perhaps the quality of sleep has changed. Racing thoughts and finding it hard to relax are often reported by people with anxiety.

Some health conditions can impact on sleep quality, such as sleep apnoea and snoring. People with chronic pain may also find sleep difficult. Pregnant women often experience difficulty with remaining asleep.

Lifestyle factors can also impact on sleep and sleep quality by affecting the body’s natural wake and sleep cycles, such as using electronic devices (including gaming) before bed, eating shortly before bedtime, consuming alcohol and caffeine, and exercising late in the evening.

Jet lag occurs when we travel to different time zones. The body generally adjusts but can take a few days.

What is your current bedtime routine? What could be impacting on your sleep?

Wheel diagram of what sleep affects: how we feel, meeting the demands of the day, managing stress, rest and recovery, thinking and focus, alertness and energy

How much sleep do I need?

Everyone needs a slightly different amount of sleep. Children and adolescents often need more sleep than adults. Healthy adults need on average 8 hours of sleep, but some people can be alert with 6 hours of sleep while others need 10 hours.

Working out how much sleep you need to feel good, alert and focused is a good place to start.

How to get more sleep

Make sleep a priority. Just as a healthy diet and being active is important, so too is sleep. Some tips to help with getting to sleep and staying asleep include:

Making bed time a priority — try to set a consistent bed time every night
Wake up the same time every morning — this helps your body to get in a good sleep cycle.
Get in touch with your body’s sleepy signs — ignoring when you are feeling tired may mean you go to sleep when your body isn’t tired.
Don’t use electronic devices within 1 to 2 hours of bedtime. If you need to use them, look at removing the blue light (some phones and devices have this function, or you may need to install an application)
Limit alcohol consumption within 2 hours of bedtime. Alcohol may relax you but your body has to work hard to metabolise it and often causes people to wake up and not fall into deep sleep.
Create an inviting sleep environment: not too warm or cold, dark, no or little noise, and a place that you feel comfortable to sleep in.
Try not to be highly active within the two to four hours before bed time so your body can relax
Dim lights and do more relaxing activities in the evening – limit brain stimulation
Drink a relaxing herbal tea or warm milk
Napping isn’t usually recommended as it can affect feeling tired in the evening. However, for new mothers, napping is encouraged as some sleep is better than none. Short sleeps are also encouraged if you feel fatigued while driving.

Are there any changes you could make to improve your sleep?

What can I do if I find relaxing and falling asleep difficult?

A range of factors can impact on being able to relax, which is required to be able to fall asleep. If you have been finding it difficult to fall asleep, it is normal to feel anxious and not look forward to bedtime. Creating a soothing bedtime routine can be helpful. Some additional tips can include:

Doing some guided mindfulness exercises in bed. There are a number of apps that can be useful, such as Smiling Mind and Headspace. There are also many guided mindfulness tracks and relaxation music on YouTube and Spotify. Have some fun exploring and trying different tracks you like.
Create a bedtime routine that is calming and one you look forward to. For example, have a bath with some relaxing essential oils, such as lavender. Visit a good health food store for advice. Many emergency service workers on shift work have very warm showers just before bed to encourage the body to cool down which helps to drift off to sleep.
If after 20 minutes you can’t fall asleep, get out of bed and do something quiet and calming, in a dark/dim room and then try again when you feel sleepy. Or, listen to the guided mindfulness track or relaxing music again.
Keep a notepad or journal near your bed and write worries or things you have to remember to do the next day. Writing them down helps to stop the thoughts from running through your mind, allowing you to relax.

Diagram showing that healthy adults need on average eight hours of sleep, with a range from six to ten hours

Should I see my doctor?

It is always a good idea to speak to your doctor about the difficulties you are experiencing with falling and staying asleep, and if you are waking not feeling well rested and still very tired. Some medications cause sleep to be disturbed. There may also be a biological reason that can be managed. Doctors may prescribe medication to assist with sleep, such as Melatonin that can help with helping the body to get back into a good wake/sleep cycle. Sleeping tablets may be prescribed for short term assistance, but long term use is not usually advised.

How can your psychologist help?

A thorough assessment will be conducted and you may be asked to keep a sleep diary for a week. Using a range of techniques, such as CBT and ACT, your psychologist can assist with developing strategies you can use to help with relaxation and sleepiness, managing anxious thoughts and developing a bed time routine that suits you.

Want to talk to us about getting a better night’s sleep?

Call us on (03) 9802 4654, or send us an email: admin@yourmindmatters.net.au

Our Blog Author

This post was written by Anita Missiha, Psychologist.

Anita recently completed her postgraduate studies in Psychology after working in the training and education industry.

Anita has experience working with students in school settings, and also works with adults.

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Understanding Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Your Mind Matters on 18/04/2017

Man in a navy jacket with keys in hand checking the stove knob before leaving home

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety condition involving intrusive negative thoughts and the repetition of certain behaviours.

What is the difference between obsessions and compulsions?

Obsessions are thoughts or images which can be quite intrusive and distressing. Although these thoughts can often be irrational, they can be extremely difficult to ignore and result in overwhelming anxiety and fear. Common obsessive thoughts include consistent worry about forgetting to lock doors, something bad occurring, or fear of contracting germs. Obsessive thoughts can be infrequent, only occurring occasionally, and at other times they can occur frequently. Obsessive thoughts become problematic when they interfere in an individual’s daily functioning, personal relationships and/or employment.

Compulsions are the repetition of certain behaviours or actions with the aim of alleviating the fear or anxiety resulting from the obsessive thought. In other words, the compulsive behaviour neutralises the distressing obsession. This wouldn’t be problematic if the compulsion was simple however, many compulsive rituals can take up hours of each day. For example, an individual with the fear of forgetting to lock the front door of their home may check to see if their door is locked several times and may even return home whilst on their way to work, to double check that they did indeed lock the door. This can lead to being late for work and impede on reliability. Other examples of compulsive behaviours can include repetitive hand washing, counting/repeating, arranging, and checking behaviours.

Five factors that can contribute to OCD: genetic vulnerability, stressful life events, hormonal changes, personality traits and environment

The OCD cycle: an obsession brings anxiety, a compulsion follows, relief is short and the thought returns

Does an individual experience both obsessions and compulsions?

Most individuals who have OCD will experience both obsessions and compulsions however the two are not always present. 20 percent of individuals will experience obsessions only, and 10 percent will experience only compulsions.

Prevalence rates

About three in every hundred people will develop OCD at some time in their lives – that is more than 450,000 Australians. Depending on the severity of the symptoms, the person suffering from OCD may or may not seek or require support.

What causes OCD?

There is no one specific cause for OCD however it appears to be a contribution of several interacting factors, including genetic vulnerability, stressful life events, hormonal changes, and personality traits. This does not mean that if anxiety runs in the family, an individual will definitely develop the condition, they are just more susceptible to experiencing the condition. Environmental factors can also contribute to the development of OCD. An individual who is exposed to a highly stressful environment whilst growing up may be more prone to developing an anxiety condition.

What treatment options are available?

Treatment for OCD often includes medical and psychological intervention. Speak to your local General Practitioner for further information regarding medication options. Psychological counselling for OCD involves the use of evidence-based therapy such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) to assist in the management of obsession thoughts and compulsive behaviours.

If you have noticed any of the above happening in your life, why not give us a call today? Our team of highly skilled and well-experienced Psychologists are here to help.

For additional information on OCD, the following links may be helpful:

http://www.healthcentral.com/slideshow/10-frequently-asked-questions-about-obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd

About the Author:
Maria Kampantais is a psychologist at Your Mind Matters Psychology Services. She works with us 4 days per week (day and evening sessions) and is passionate about working with clients suffering from various anxiety disorders. Meet our team.

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What can you expect when you visit a Psychologist at Your Mind Matters Psychology Services?

Your Mind Matters on 03/04/2017

Three smiling psychologists from Your Mind Matters standing together in front of a green hedge

Coming to see a Psychologist can be rather daunting. Who wakes up in the morning and says, “I’d love to chat to a complete stranger about my deepest fears, thoughts, and feelings, and see what they think?” We understand that the idea of speaking with someone about your worries opens the floodgates to “what if…?” thoughts, such as “what if they think I’m crazy?” or “what if they can’t help me?” Makes your anxiety go up just thinking about it, right?

But what if I were to tell you that we absolutely DO NOT think this way? After all, we went to university for a minimum of 6 years to help you, and it is honestly an absolute privilege. We are not here to judge you, we are here to share your hardships and difficulties, and help you navigate your way through them.

So, how does someone become a client of ours? Often it all starts by a) Googling us, or b) speaking to your GP. Clients with a referral from a GP often access a Medicare rebate, which will subsidise counselling, but you can still come in without a referral. Bear in mind, you can always book in with us, then go to your GP and request a referral to us specifically. The order of events doesn’t really matter.

When you call us, you can expect to speak with an Administration Assistant. They will speak with you about our team members and work with you to determine who may be the best Psychologist to support you as we all have different areas of interest and skills. Admin will ask for some details, such as your name, email (so we can email you our location map and information about the Psychologist you’ll be working with), and mobile number, so we can text (sms) you an appointment reminder or call if we need to.

Thank you for taking the first step. We know reaching out is not easy, and we want you to feel at home here. Laura and the team at Your Mind Matters

On the day of your initial appointment, please come in 10 minutes to complete some paperwork if you haven’t already done this using our online forms. If you have a referral, Admin will also collect this so we can rebate any Medicare benefits immediately following your appointment. This saves you from having to go to Medicare.

When it’s time to start, your Psychologist will come to reception, introduce themselves, and walk you to their consulting room. Our rooms have large armchairs and couches, and we encourage you to get comfortable. You can put your feet up, lie down, sit up, or snuggle up in a blanket. Whatever works for you. If your appointment is via Telehealth, your Psychologist will email you a link which you need to click at the start of your appointment – super easy!

During the initial consultation, your Psychologist will discuss with you some of the fundamentals around privacy and confidentiality, house rules (e.g. sessions are 50 minutes in duration, where the toilets are located), and general policies (e.g. our cancellation policy, which you will also see when you fill out your initial paperwork). This spiel takes about 2 minutes.

Then it’s over to you! We typically ask something along the lines of “What has brought you here today?” The first session with a Psychologist is usually information gathering. We want to know about your circumstances, what is and isn’t working for you, and what you want to achieve throughout counselling. This allows us to start formulating and create a treatment plan aimed at helping you achieve your goals.

If your appointment is in the office, at the end of the session, your Psychologist will walk you back to reception to complete a handover with our Admin team. If your appointment is via Telehealth, your Psychologist will email Admin our handover immediately, so that when you call to give payment a few minutes later, they already know if/when to rebook (if you haven’t already done so) and if they need to process a Medicare rebate for you.

Most of the time, our clients finish their session feeling much better than they did the previous hour (it’s called “therapy” for a reason!), and feel right at home in our clinic. They tend to waltz into the clinic for subsequent sessions because those initial feelings of anxiety about seeing a Psychologist are no longer present, which we love to see!

I hope this has been helpful, we really are here to support you and we want you to feel at home here.

We hope to see you soon!

Quality Counselling and Assessment Services

~Support to help you thrive~

Our Blog Author
Laura Forlani
Director and Clinical Psychologist at YMM. Meet our team.

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What is Anxiety?

Your Mind Matters on 14/11/2016

A man lying awake in bed at night staring at the ceiling, blue street light through the blinds and a bedside clock showing 3:12

Anxiety is a feeling of unease, worry or fear. Everyone feels anxious at some point in their life, but for some people it can be an ongoing problem. Although we used the words “anxiety” and “stress” interchangeably, they are slightly different.

Stress is a response to a specific threat or challenge, and subsides when the stressor is removed.

Anxiety is often anticipatory, does not always have a trigger, and even after stressors are dealt with, a person may still feel anxious.

A little bit of anxiety and stress can be helpful; for example, feeling anxious or stressed before an exam might make you more alert and improve your performance. But too much of either could make you tired and unable to concentrate.

Three steps showing what happens in your body: you feel anxious or stressed, your body releases adrenaline and cortisol, and your heart beats faster and you sweat more

Symptoms of anxiety

Anxiety can have both psychological and physical symptoms. Psychological symptoms can include:

feeling worried or uneasy a lot of the time
having difficulty sleeping, which makes you feel tired
not being able to concentrate
being irritable
being extra alert and hyper-vigilant
feeling on edge or not being able to relax
needing frequent reassurance from other people

Depending on the type of anxiety, symptoms vary. For example, if someone suffers from social anxiety, their symptoms will be markedly different from someone who suffers from claustrophobia (fear of being enclosed in small spaces, such as elevators).

When you’re feeling anxious or stressed, your body releases stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. These cause the physical symptoms of anxiety, such as an increased heart rate and increased sweating.

Comparison of stress, a response to a specific threat that eases once it is removed, and anxiety, which is often anticipatory and can stay after the stressor is dealt with

Physical symptoms can include:

a pounding heartbeat and heart palpitations
breathing faster
dry mouth
feeling sick or nauseous
headaches
feeling faint or sweating
loss of appetite
needing the toilet more frequently

Is anxiety bad for you?

A little anxiety is fine, but long-term anxiety may lead to more serious health, social, and occupational difficulties. If you’re feeling anxious much of the time, or it’s affecting your day-to-day life, it’s best to seek support.

Help for anxiety

There are effective treatments available for anxiety, so do talk to your GP if you think you may benefit. If your GP thinks counselling with a psychologist may be helpful, they may create a Mental Health Care Plan for you, which (if eligible) will heavily subsidise your counselling sessions.

If you’d like more information on how to access a Mental Health Care Plan and pricing for counselling at Your Mind Matters Psychology Services, please call us on (03) 9802 4654, or email us, as we can walk you through the process.

Our Blog Author
This post was written by the team at Your Mind Matters. If anxiety is affecting your day-to-day life, our psychologists are here to help. Meet our team.

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A Word on Addiction

Your Mind Matters on 21/10/2016

A tired man in a work shirt sitting alone at a small kitchen table at night under a hanging lamp, lost in thought, with the city lights outside the window

Addiction is defined as not having control over doing, taking or using something to the point where it could be harmful to you. Addiction is a physical and/or psychological need to use a substance, often caused by regular continued use. It is most commonly associated with gambling, drugs, alcohol and nicotine (smoking).

However it’s possible to be addicted to just about anything such as shopping, mobile phones, solvents (volatile substance abuse is when you inhale substances such as glue, aerosols, petrol or lighter fuel to give you a feeling of intoxication ) and work.

Signs and symptoms of substance abuse or addiction:

Regular or continued substance use to cope emotionally, socially or physically
Neglecting responsibilities and activities that are important or enjoyable (e.g. work, study, family, hobbies, sports, social commitments)
Participating in dangerous or risky behaviours as a result of substance use (e.g. drink driving, unprotected sex, using dirty needles)
Relationship problems (e.g. arguments with partner, family, friends, or losing friends)
Physical tolerance – needing more of the substance to experience the same effects
Withdrawal – physical and mental withdrawal symptoms when you are not using the substance or needing the substance to feel “normal”
Losing control of your substance use – being dependent or unable to stop even if you want or try to
Substance use takes over your life (e.g. spending a lot of time using, finding or getting the substance and recovering from the effects)

Five steps towards recovery: recognise the problem, get support, look into options for help, find other ways to cope, and deal with setbacks and keep going

Main reasons people misuse substances:

People use drugs and alcohol for many reasons

To relax
Have fun
Socialise
Cope with problems
Escape life or dull emotional/physical pain.

However using substances to cope doesn’t make problems go away, and can make them worse or add new problems to the mix. Substance abuse and addiction can have short-term and long-term impacts on physical, mental, social and financial health.

People use drugs and alcohol to relax, have fun, socialise, cope with problems or escape, but it does not make problems go away and can make them worse

Get help if you are experiencing any of these effects:

Physical health– nausea, aches and pains, sleep problems, weight gain/loss, infections, accidents, illness or chronic disease.
Mental health– depression, anxiety, paranoia or psychosis
Personal relationships– family problems, arguments, relationship breakdowns or a loss of friends
Work or financial– job loss, trouble at work or study, debt or unemployment
Social impacts– loss of interest or time to do things you like, reduced participation in social activities, criminal problems, anti-social behaviours or isolation

What you can do

It is difficult to accept you have a problem and to ask for help. Be honest with yourself and others and get the help and support you need.

Recognise when your substance use has become a problem– realising and accepting that you are abusing or addicted to substances is the first step to finding help.
Get support– getting through this on your own can be difficult. Talk to friends, family, your doctor, other health professionals or a telephone helpline (e.g. Lifeline, 13 11 14) about your substance use. The following will provide help and assistants and point you in the right direction if you need further help.
Investigate options for help– manage and treat substance misuse and addiction through counselling, medication, rehabilitation centres, self-help programs or support networks. You might need to try a number of options before you find what works for you – it’s important to keep trying. DONT GIVE UP!!!!!
Find alternative coping strategies– if you are using substances to cope with life or escape personal problems, find other ways to manage the situation and deal with life’s stress and pressures. By dealing with other problems in your life you can make it easier to recover and not relapse.
Deal with setbacks and keep going– Recovery can be a long and difficult road. Expect some setbacks and don’t focus on failures, focus on your plan and understand your triggers and how to best respond to them in future.

The information within the blog has been sourced through https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Facts—Information/Substance-Abuse—Addiction/Substance-Abuse-and-Addiction and http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/addiction/Pages/addictionwhatisit.aspx

Our Blog Author
This post was written by the team at Your Mind Matters. If you are worried about your own or someone else’s substance use, our psychologists can help. Meet our team.

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Tipsheets for Helping Children with Challenging Behaviours

Your Mind Matters on 05/10/2016

A father sitting cross-legged on the living room rug, gently talking with his young son who is calming down after a meltdown

Children with Challenging Behaviours

At some point, all parents deal with the frustration of having their children present with some challenging behaviours.

Behaviour can be described as challenging when it:

interferes with the rights of others
causes harm or risk to the child, other children, adults or living things
damages the physical environment, equipment or materials
interferes with the child’s learning and relationships with others
includes a child presenting as shy, withdrawn or excessively passive
is inappropriate to the child’s age or developmental stage or background.

Diagram showing that behind challenging behaviour such as tantrums there may be a valid need or want, and that learning to communicate it appropriately helps

Challenging behaviour may include, but is not limited to:

hitting, kicking, spitting, punching others
tantrums
refusal to share, wait, or take turns
excluding other children
breaking or misusing toys and equipment
refusal to co-operate or go along with instructions
swearing
shouting
running away
teasing or bullying.

Checklist of when behaviour can be described as challenging, from interfering with the rights of others to not fitting the child's age or stage

Children’s behaviour, including challenging behaviour, may be an attempt to satisfy a valid need or express a want. Learning to communicate needs and wants in appropriate ways is one of the many challenges children face.

It is important for you, your childcare provider and/or school to have a variety of strategies to use when raising and caring for your child. Every strategy may not work for every child. Also, as your child gets older and changes, you may need to change strategies and approaches.

For more information on some strategies you and school that you may find helpful, read the following resources:

For Parents: http://www.cccf-fcsge.ca/wp-content/uploads/RS_48-e.pdf

For school: http://www.education.vic.gov.au/Documents/childhood/providers/regulation/pracnoteschallbehav.pdf

Parents and childcare:

http://www.childcareresourcesinc.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/Issue-75-CHILDREN-WITH-CHALLENGING-BEHAVIOR-E1.pdf

Parents with children with additional needs:

http://ncac.acecqa.gov.au/educator-resources/pcf-articles/managing_challenging_behaviours_chn_addtl_needsJune2010.pdf

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This post was written by the team at Your Mind Matters. If your child’s behaviour is becoming hard to manage, our psychologists can help you find strategies that work for your family. Meet our team.

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World Suicide Prevention Day

Your Mind Matters on 07/09/2016

Two friends sitting together on the back step of a house in late afternoon light, one listening to the other with a hand on his shoulder

This post was first written for World Suicide Prevention Day on 10 September 2016 and was updated in October 2026 with the most recent published figures. Sources are listed at the end of the post. The support services listed were checked in August 2026.

The World Health Organization estimates that around 727,000 people die by suicide each year.

Facts about suicide in Australia

Suicide is the leading cause of premature death in Australia
In 2024, 3,326 Australians died by suicide, around nine people every day
Over three in four people who die by suicide are men
In a 12-month period, 3.3% of Australians aged 16–85 seriously thought about taking their own life, 1.2% made a plan and 0.3% attempted to take their own life
Worldwide, suicide is the third leading cause of death among people aged 15–29

A message that reads: you don't have to get through it on your own. Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend, family, your doctor, another health professional or a telephone helpline. Lifeline 13 11 14, crisis support 24 hours a day. In an emergency, call 000.

The tragic ripple effect means that there are many, many more people who have been bereaved by suicide or have been close to someone who has tried to take their own life, as well as those struggling to manage suicidal ideation.

World Suicide Prevention Day is marked every year on 10 September. To find an event near you in Australia, visit Suicide Prevention Australia’s World Suicide Prevention Day page. To see what is planned across the globe, visit the IASP World Suicide Prevention Day events calendar.

If you need help

Getting through difficulties on your own can be difficult. Talk to friends, family, your doctor, other health professionals or a telephone helpline. The services below can provide support and point you in the right direction if you need further help.

Emergency services 000 – if life is in danger.
Lifeline 13 11 14, or text 0477 13 11 14 – crisis support and suicide prevention, 24 hours a day.
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 – free professional counselling if you, or someone you know, is feeling suicidal. Available 24 hours a day for people aged 15 and over.
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 – free counselling for children and young people aged 5 to 25, about anything that is going on in life.
Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 – support for anxiety, depression and related concerns, 24 hours a day.

More options are on our resources page, or you can call the clinic on (03) 9802 4654.

Sources: Australian Bureau of Statistics, Causes of Death, Australia, 2024; ABS, National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing, 2020–22; World Health Organization, Suicide fact sheet.

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This post was written by the team at Your Mind Matters. If you are struggling, or worried about someone, our psychologists are here to help. Meet our team.

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Coping with Bereavement

Your Mind Matters on 04/08/2016

An older man with grey hair walking barefoot and alone along the water at St Kilda beach in the early morning, holding his shoes, the pier in the distance

Bereavement affects people in different ways. There’s no right or wrong way to feel.

Experts generally accept that people usually move through four stages of bereavement:

accepting that your loss is real
experiencing the pain of grief
adjusting to life without the person who has died
putting less emotional energy into grieving and putting it into something new (in other words, moving on)

You may go through stages, but you won’t necessarily move smoothly from one to the next. You may even get stuck at a stage. Your grief might feel chaotic and out of control, but these feelings will eventually become less intense….with time How long you ask? Good question, and there is no answer; grief is experienced differently among individuals, and unique to each loss.

Six feelings that are common after a loss: shock and numbness, overwhelming sadness, tiredness, anger, guilt and forgetfulness

You might feel:

Shock and numbness (this is usually the first reaction to the death, and people often speak of being in a daze)
Overwhelming sadness, with lots of crying
Tiredness or exhaustion
Anger, for example towards the person who died, their illness or God
Guilt, for example guilt about feeling angry, about something you said or didn’t say, or about not being able to stop your loved one dying
Some people become forgetful and less able to concentrate.

The four stages of bereavement: accepting the loss is real, experiencing the pain of grief, adjusting to life without the person, and putting energy into something new

Coping with grief

We all cope with grief differently, and what is helpful varies from person to person. You may try:

Talking and sharing your feelings with someone is often the most helpful thing you can do. You may speak with friends, family, colleagues, or a healthcare professional (e.g. psychologist, psychiatrist, GP).
For some people, relying on family and friends is the best way to cope, But if you don’t feel you can talk to them much (perhaps you aren’t close, or they’re grieving too), you may benefit from engaging in self-care activities. These may include: exercise, pampering, going for a long walk, visiting a much-loved place, reading a book, walking the dog. Self-care is all about you, and doing what you enjoy or find relaxing.
If distraction works well for you, get busy and productive!

If you’re out of ideas for self-care, head here: http://elishagoldstein.com/assets/183-pleasurable-activities-to-choose-from.pdf

Most importantly, be patient and compassionate, with yourself and others.

If you are having trouble with a loss, give our team a call and arrange a consultation with one of our psychologists.

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This post was written by the team at Your Mind Matters. If you are finding a loss hard to carry, our psychologists are here to support you. Meet our team.

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