Stress management Archives - Your Mind Matters

Self-compassion: Why is it important?

laura on 01/05/2024

Life can be extremely difficult. The possibility of human experience is endless. Regardless of how privileged or disadvantaged we are; human beings all connect in our capacity for psychological suffering.

We all can move to listening to a harsh internal critic. Do you have an inner critic? If so, what is the purpose of this critic? Is this critic chastising you, searching for your flaws, punishing you, and comparing you? Is it maybe even preventing you from doing things you love, or from living by your values and being your authentic self?

Let’s consider a few examples:

Imagine you have broken your leg and fractured your ribs from a bicycle accident and that you have the choice of getting help with daily tasks from companion A or companion B.

Companion A says to you: “Suck it up, it’s not that bad, you’re pathetic! Plenty of people are worse off than you, quit with the baby tears”

Companion B says to you: “This absolutely sucks. You must be in some really awful pain and feel like you’ve lost some independence that I know is so important to you. I’m here for you, let’s just take it slow together”

Strangely we are often the Companion B to our friends but often not to ourselves!

Imagine a close friend of yours just went through a romantic relationship break-up. They tell you their heartfelt story, and you listen intently from start to finish. Your friend isn’t perfect, but they deserve to be happy. You reassure them that they’ll get through this, they’re a wonderful human being, and that it can be painful, but they will be okay.

You don’t judge your friend. You don’t tell them they are not worthy, they are unlovable, will never find anybody, are ugly, stupid or that they need to change. You show your friend compassion. Strangely we often don’t do the same for ourselves!

Imagine you are at work and your boss calls you in for a meeting to have your annual review. She discusses your strengths and lets you know she is so happy to have you on the team. She then gives you some constructive advice related to organisation/planning skills. Coming from a place of critical judgment, you only hear the negative, and tell yourself, “I’m an incompetent idiot. I’m a shambolic mess and I can’t do anything right”. You head home and feel stressed out, go over all your flaws from memory and can’t sleep.

Coming from a place of fairness and acceptance, you see and hear the whole message, and tell yourself, “I’m doing a really solid job & working well with the team. I’m going to take on her helpful advice and learn from this”. This is a more compassionate response.

What is self-compassion?

There are many different definitions of self-compassion in the literature. I kind of like Neff (2003) that suggests there are 3 components that collaboratively interact to develop a self-compassionate frame of mind:

Self-kindness versus self-judgement – Self-kindness is simply that! Responding with and developing a tendency to be caring and understanding with oneself, and letting go of the harsh judgmental critic. It is about being honest with ourselves about our pain, our flaws, our mistakes and not ignoring, and also not wallowing in self-pity; but acknowledging and responding with genuine kindness, soothing and comfort to the self.
A sense of common humanity versus isolation – The common humanity aspect involves recognizing that all human beings have cracks, and make mistakes. We aren’t alone here! Nobody is perfect! These flaws and cracks make us who we are and connecting one’s own flawed condition to the shared human condition helps with greater perspective and understanding. Individuals who are self-compassionate accept themselves as they are and for who they are, rather than what or who they “should” be.
Mindfulness versus overidentification – Mindfulness involves simply being aware of one’s present moment experience and accepting things as they are. It is not ignoring or ruminating, but observing and accepting the pain, and being self-compassionate. Mindfulness will also help in developing self-compassion habits, like recognizing when your body is feeling anxious and your thoughts are being judgmental toward yourself.

What we know from the research is that when you’re critical and judgmental of yourself, you’re more likely to experience feelings of anger, anxiety, sadness, loneliness and insecurity. When you treat yourself fairly you are in a position to manage these uncomfortable feelings with acceptance.

Self-compassionate individuals often take pride in their human characteristics and believe they are good natured, well-meaning, and competent, and happily understand their unique weaknesses or areas they can work on. They know they are a work in progress and embrace it.

It’s kind of hard to break old habits and practice self-compassion.

I encourage you to treat yourself fairly and with kindness, and see what happens.

References

Barnard, L. K., & Curry, J. F. (2011). Self-compassion: Conceptualizations, correlates, & interventions. Review of General Psychology, 15(4), 289-303.

Neff, K. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and identity, 2(3), 223-250.

This blog was written by Karen Dreher – Counsellor at YMM.

Karen is a member of The Australian Counselling Association (ACA). She has completed a Masters of Counselling, a Graduate Diploma in Psychology, and additional training in Gottman (couples) Therapy.

Karen is a person-centred counsellor who values the diversity of human narrative and her client’s own personal meanings, experiences and feelings. Karen provides a warm, empathetic, authentic space that supports clients in engaging in their own self-understanding and healthy well-being.

To learn more about Karen, check out the “Our Team” page on our website! https://yourmindmatters.net.au/our-team/

Breaking the Cycle: Why Avoidance Behaviours Lead to More Avoidance

laura on 11/11/2023

Photo by Possessed Photography on Unsplash

Anxiety can be an uncomfortable and distressing feeling that we want to get rid of. This can lead to making choices that will alleviate our anxiety in the quickest way. Avoidance behaviours can encompass a wide range of physical and mental actions, from procrastination and refusing to think about certain things, to social withdrawal and distracting oneself. These behaviours can momentarily ease discomfort but ultimately reinforce the problems they are meant to alleviate.

Here’s how the cycle of avoidance typically unfolds:

Temporary Relief

When we avoid a difficult situation, we experience temporary relief from the discomfort, anxiety, or fear associated with it. This relief reinforces the idea that avoidance is helpful.

Escalation of Anxiety

Over time, avoiding the situation increases anxiety because the problem remains unsolved. This makes the problem more overwhelming and challenging when we come to address it at a later date.

Reinforcement of Avoidance

Since avoidance initially provided relief, we’re more likely to use it again in the face of similar challenges. This strengthens the use of avoidance behaviour as a coping strategy.

Negative Consequences

Avoidance behaviours often lead to negative consequences, such as missed opportunities, damaged relationship and compromised performance (i.e., academic grades or work-evaluations). These consequences can amplify the problems we were trying to avoid in the first place.

Breaking the Cycle

Breaking the cycle of avoidance can seem daunting and overwhelming. However, gradually taking steps to confronting feared situations will go a long way in breaking down this cycle and building a sense of confidence. While it may be tempting to jump into the deep-end and tackle your biggest fear first, taking a slow and persistent approach allows for you to learn and practice skills that can assist you.

Seek Support

Reach out to friends, family, or professionals for support when dealing with challenging situations or emotions. Having a support network can make it easier to confront problems.

Mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness helps keeps us in the present and from catastrophising about hypothetical outcomes.

Problem-Solving

Instead of avoiding problems altogether, break it down into more manageable steps. Create an action plan to assist with tackling these steps.

Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself. Avoid self-criticism, and recognise that there may be set-backs. Self-compassion can reduce the fear associated with confronting difficulties.

Avoidance behaviours may offer temporary relief, but they are ultimately counterproductive, fuelling a cycle of increased avoidance. To break this pattern, it’s vital to confront challenges directly and adopt healthier coping strategies. By doing so, we can not only avoid the negative consequences of avoidance but also experience personal growth and resilience.

This blog was written by Simone Chaochalakorn – Psychologist at YMM.

Simone has experience working in a variety of contexts, including working with young children in primary schools, as well as adolescents in clinics. Alongside this, Simone has also assisted adults and seniors with concerns such as work-related stress, relationship difficulties, anxiety and low mood. Simone uses a client-centered approach, in which she strives to understand each individual and their unique problem, in order to find the most effective strategies to help them.

To learn more about Simone, check out the “Our Team” page on our website! https://yourmindmatters.net.au/our-team/

Assertiveness: What does it look like and why it’s important

laura on 13/10/2023

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Most people have experienced situations where they have not received what they wanted or needed. These might have been at work, with friends, family, or in intimate relationships. Some may have thought “I am just not an assertive person” and let it go or potentially have it fester into ongoing resentment or sense of helplessness. Some, may have reacted in an opposite manner, with anger and frustration, but this too did not result in needs being met but rather fractured relationships.

Assertiveness is important in all spheres of life from domestic to social to vocational. If you have ever found it difficult to get your point across, to even speak up or keep your cool and had a difficult time communicating your needs, you will undoubtedly recognise the importance of assertive communication in balancing relationships and having needs met.

Whilst one might accept these circumstances as the norm of not being assertive, assertiveness is actually a set of skills that can be learned and developed. Personality, culture, life experiences and previous relationships may all make this skill harder to learn for some people, however it is possible to learn to be assertive and doing so is likely to make a positive difference to one’s life.

So what is Assertiveness and what is it not?

Although the meaning of “assertive” may be familiar, it is important to consider what Assertive Communication actually looks like and what it entails.

Assertive communication has been defined as “the ability to speak and interact in a manner that considers and respects the rights and opinions of others while also standing up for your rights, needs, and personal boundaries” (Pipas & Jaradat, 2010, pp. 649). In other words, it’s a communication style which is comprised of direct yet calm, respectful and reasonable expression of your needs whilst also taking the other party’s needs into account. It is standing up for your values without impeding another’s right to do so. Assertiveness is a key skill that can help you to better manage yourself, people and situations. It can help you to influence others in order to gain acceptance, agreement or behaviour change whilst allowing one to feel less guilty for saying ‘no’ to tasks or plans that may not be serving them. It is not coming out as the champion of a heated argument. Assertiveness is knowing when and how to demonstrate your view.

Conceptually, if we look at communication styles on a continuum, assertiveness is the middle balance between being passive (where one is overly focussed on the needs of others’, but struggles to vocalise their own) and being aggressive (where a person may be overly forthright and demanding about their needs, but fail to acknowledge the needs and wants of others). Assertiveness is therefore a positive personality characteristic that enables individuals to be present, actively engaged and aware of their rights, whilst also extending the same to others. They are a benefit to both themselves and society (Parmaksiz, 2019).

Benefits of Assertiveness vs Consequences of when it’s lacking

The importance of feeling considered, heard and valued is well established. Not having our reasonable needs or wants met and feeling that these are not seen as important or valued, leads to feelings of stress and upset. These negative emotions can compound over time and can become a “time bomb” with detrimental impacts on our self-esteem, anxiety and stress (Bulantika and Sari, 2019). A lack of assertiveness may contribute to depression and anxiety, whereas maladaptive approaches to assertiveness may manifest as aggression (American Psychological Association, n.d.a, para. 1).

What are some of the traits of Assertive Communicators?

There are certain traits that are present in effective assertive communication, spanning both verbal and non-verbal characteristics.

Direct eye contact which communicates confidence and that the person is not intimidated
Assertive posture/stance which balances an open confident stance without looking aggressive. Hand gestures and fidgeting also need to be minimised.
Tone of voice should be confident, strong, but not loud and aggressive.
Clarity of communication is vital, so using specific words that clearly communicate ones needs with little room for ambivalence can assist in getting the message across.
Facial expression needs to remain calm and important to not express anger or anxiety.
Timing of any conversations needs to be considered and appropriate as should the audience
Non-threatening: the person should not blame or threaten the others in order to get their way.
Ability to own your mistakes whilst not taking the ownership for the mistakes of others is part of standing up for own beliefs.
Communication needs to be framed in a positive, proactive but precise manner and self criticism should be avoided when trying to be assertive. It’s imperative that when trying to have effective communication, you’re clear on your position and needs.

While assertive communication skills come naturally for some individuals, these skills can be developed through practice. Effective communication can assist career progression and improve relationships. Relationships are complex and individual and sometimes we may need additional support navigating them. Psychological therapy can be helpful to develop skills in assertiveness in a safe supportive space. If you would like some support with better managing communication and improving the quality of interactions, why not give us a call today? Our team of highly skilled and well-experienced practitioners are here to help.

References

American Psychological Association (n.d.a) Assertivness. In APA Discitonary of Psychology. https://dictionary.apa.org/assertiveness
Bishop, S. (2013). Develop your assertiveness. London, UK: Kogan Page Limited.
Bulantika, S. Z., & Sari, P. (2019). The effectiveness of assertive training techniques and thought-stopping techniques to increase student assertiveness ability. Biblio Couns: Jurnal Kajian Konseling danPendidikan, 2(3), 109–116.
Millacci, T (2017). Assertiveness in the Workplace: A Quick Guide. https://positivepsychology.com/assertiveness/

Pipaş, M., & Jaradat, M. (2010). Assertive communication skills. Annales Universitatis Apulensis Series Oeconomica, 12, 649–656.
Williams, M (2023). What is Assertiveness and why isis important. https://www.lawsonpsychology.com.au/2023/06/30/what-is-assertiveness-and-why-is-it-important/

Coping with the Stress of Year 12’s Final Semester with Strategies for Success

laura on 20/09/2023

Photo by Windows on Unsplash

The final year of high school, Year 12, is a crucial period in a student’s academic journey. It’s a time filled with academic pressures, applications for further study for some, and the looming sense of transition into adulthood. Coping with the stress of the year 12’s final semester is essential for both academic success and overall well-being. As psychologists and counsellors, we often encounter young people who present with high anxiety in relation to their final semester at high school. As a parent / caregiver, witnessing your young person navigate the stress of Year 12’s final semester can also be a challenging experience. Your support and guidance play a crucial role in helping your young person to succeed during this pivotal time in their academic journey. In this blog entry, we’ll explore ways students can cope at this time, and how parents / caregivers can effectively support and encourage their young person while also managing their own stress.

For Students

Time Management and Organization / Study Techniques

One of the first steps in dealing with Year 12 stress is effective time management. Create a study schedule that allows you to allocate sufficient time for each subject, breaks, and relaxation. Use tools like calendars and task lists to keep yourself organized and on track. Experiment with different study techniques to find what works best for you. This might include creating study guides, flashcards, whilst participating in study groups can also help. Don’t forget to take regular, longer breaks to prevent burnout. The Pomodoro technique (https://www.verywellmind.com/pomodoro-technique-history-steps-benefits-and-drawbacks-6892111) can help to focus time and attention, whilst scheduling breaks to maintain your commitment to the task.

Set Realistic Goals

While high expectations can be motivating, setting overly ambitious goals can lead to unnecessary stress. Establish realistic academic and personal goals that are achievable within your capacity. Using SMART goal setting techniques can help to break overall goals down into smaller, manageable tasks to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

Seek Support

Don’t hesitate to seek help from teachers, tutors, or classmates if you’re struggling with coursework. Communication is key, and educators are usually more than willing to offer guidance and support. Additionally, confiding in friends and family about your stress can provide emotional relief.

Practice Self-Care

Your mental and physical well-being should be a top priority. Make time for self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, and spending time with friends and loved ones. Getting enough sleep and eating a balanced diet are essential for maintaining your energy and focus.

Mindfulness and Stress Reduction

Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing and meditation, can help manage stress and anxiety. Incorporate these practices into your daily routine to stay grounded and calm, especially during exam periods.

Manage Exam Anxiety

It’s normal to feel anxious before exams, but excessive anxiety can hinder your performance. Practice relaxation techniques, visualize success, and use positive self-talk to boost your confidence. Grounding techniques (https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques#soothing-techniques) can be helpful to manage your anxiety.

Stay Informed About Uni / TAFE Applications

If further education applications are part of your Year 12 journey, stay informed about deadlines, requirements, and other financial assistance opportunities. Start the application process early to avoid last-minute stress.

Celebrate Achievements

Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Positive reinforcement can boost your motivation and reduce stress.

Keep Perspective

Remember that Year 12 is just one phase of your life. While it’s important, it doesn’t define your entire future or who you are as a person. Keep perspective on your long-term goals and aspirations and be kind to yourself along the way.

For Parents / Caregivers / Carers

Introduction

As a parent / caregiver, witnessing your young person navigate the stress of Year 12’s final semester can be a challenging experience. Your support and guidance play a crucial role in helping them to succeed during this pivotal time in their academic journey. Read on for ways you can effectively support and encourage your young person while also managing your own stress.

Open and Non-Judgmental Communication

Create an open and non-judgmental environment where your young person feels comfortable discussing their concerns, fears, and achievements. Listen actively to their thoughts and feelings and avoid imposing undue pressure.

Understand Their Needs

Recognise that each person in your care is unique. Understand your young person’s learning style, strengths, and challenges. This knowledge can help you provide tailored support.

Set Realistic Expectations

While you want the best for your young person, it’s essential to hold realistic expectations. Encourage them to do their best without placing undue pressure to achieve perfection.

Provide a Structured Environment

Help your young person establish a structured daily routine that includes study time, breaks, and relaxation. Ensure they have a quiet and comfortable place to study.

Offer Emotional Support

Year 12’s final semester can be emotionally taxing. Be a source of emotional support, offering encouragement, understanding, and reassurance. Let them know that you believe in their abilities and recognise their efforts.

Encourage Self-Care

Emphasize the importance of self-care. Encourage your young person to maintain a healthy diet, get enough sleep, and engage in physical activities or hobbies they enjoy.

Help with Time Management

Teach your young person time management skills. Assist them in creating a study schedule, setting achievable goals, and prioritising tasks if they are happy to accept your help.

Celebrate Achievements

Celebrate your young person’s achievements, both big and small. Positive reinforcement can boost their confidence and motivation.

Connect with Educators

Maintain open lines of communication with your young person’s teachers and other school supports. Stay informed about their academic progress and address any concerns promptly.

Manage Your Own Stress

Managing your own stress is essential. Take time to relax, practice self-care, and seek support from friends, family, or professionals if needed. Your own well-being is crucial in providing effective support to your young person.

Be Flexible

Understand that there may be setbacks or challenging moments. Be flexible and adapt your approach as needed. Sometimes, a temporary change in study strategies or routines can make a big difference.

Discuss Future Plans

Have open discussions about your young person’s post-Year 12 plans. This can include university / TAFE applications, career aspirations, and any additional support they may need.

Supporting your young person through the stress of Year 12’s final semester requires patience, empathy, and effective communication. By offering encouragement, creating a supportive environment, and ensuring their well-being, you can help them to navigate this challenging phase with greater ease. Remember that your unwavering support can make a significant difference in their academic success and overall well-being.

Here are three popular book references that discuss coping with supporting a young person through high school:

“The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed” by Jessica Lahey

This book explores the importance of allowing young people to experience failure and learn from their mistakes. It provides insights into how parents / caregivers can support their young person’s growth and development by not putting excessive pressure on them, which is especially relevant during the stressful Year 12 period.

“Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck

This book delves into the concept of fixed and growth mindsets and how they influence learning and achievement. It offers valuable guidance on how parents / caregivers can foster a growth mindset in their young person, helping them approach challenges, including Year 12 stress, with resilience and a positive attitude.

“Mindfulness for Teen Anxiety: A Workbook for Overcoming Anxiety at Home, at School, and Everywhere Else” by Christopher Willard

This workbook is tailored specifically for adolescents and offers practical mindfulness-based strategies for managing anxiety and stress.

NB: Remember that your young person is so much more than their final ATAR score and support them to understand / believe this too.

This blog was written by Ian Clark – Clinical Psychologist at YMM.

Ian is a Clinical Psychologist with over 10 years experience in private practice. He enjoys working with adolescents and adults presenting with a range of difficulties, including mood disorders, anxiety, and stress related to school or work. Ian believes it is essential to the therapeutic process to provide a welcoming, safe, and non-judgemental environment in which to carefully explore ways to help people to make positive changes in their lives.

To learn more about Ian, check out the “Our Team” page on our website! https://yourmindmatters.net.au/our-team/

So….what is CBT exactly? (Podcast Episode!)

laura on 01/05/2022

Understanding Your Thoughts

laura on 21/03/2022

Simply put, thoughts are our opinions and beliefs about ourselves, others and the world around us. Thoughts can be experienced in different ways. Some of us think in the form of ‘words’, images/pictures, or even both. We all have that ‘voice’ in our head that helps us process events that are unfolding around us. Sometimes our inner self-talk can be very positive, supportive and encouraging, almost like a cheerleader. However, at times it can be very critical. You may have heard of the term ‘the inner critic’; this is the part of you that scrutinises/judges you. It may, for example, tell you that you ‘should’ do better or that you’re failing in life.

A big part of therapy is to shift our thinking. Now we have all heard the term ‘positive thinking’. We might be going through a tough situation and in an attempt to help, a friend or loved one may tell us “STOP thinking so negatively and think more positively!!”. Easier said then done, right?! We first need to understand our thoughts, before we can start to shift them. Most importantly, we need to understand what has led us to form that interpretation of the situation/event at hand, ourselves, others or the world.

Let’s start at the beginning… First and foremost, you CAN NOT stop yourself from thinking! The more you tell yourself to ‘stop thinking’ the more you think that thought! Have you ever had a song stuck in your head? I bet the answer is YES! And your mind sings it over, and over, and over! It becomes annoying, right? And the more you try to ‘get rid of’ that song, the more your mind keeps replaying it. Eventually, you may decide to stop fighting it and allow your mind to ‘sing’, you allow the song to be there, and go on with your day, focusing on what is important to you. And alas… IT GOES AWAY!!

Above, I mentioned that thoughts are words/pictures/images. I want you to keep this in mind. Thoughts in and of themselves do not have any meaning; they are words/pictures/images formed in our mind about our interpretation of a situation. We are the ones who give our thoughts meaning…we think them and automatically believe them to be true. Just because you think something, it DOES NOT make it true. For example, if you had the thought “I’m not a good friend”, that does not make it a fact.

We can often get caught in ‘thinking traps’. These are also referred to as cognitive distortions. Thinking traps are inaccuracies in thinking which are often very unhelpful and get in the way of us viewing a situation more objectively. Here are some common thinking traps:

Mindreading – We believe we know what others are thinking, and they have a negative opinion of us. The truth is, we can’t possibly know what someone else is thinking as we are not mind readers.
Fortune telling – When you tell yourself that something won’t work out; almost like you are predicting the future.
Black and white thinking – Viewing situations/events in terms of extremes and not seeing the in-between. For example, seeing things as either good or bad, a success or a failure.
Catastrophising – Telling yourself that the worst thing imaginable will happen and you won’t be able to cope.
‘Should’ statements – Placing standards on how you ‘should’ or ‘must’ behave/think/feel.
Overgeneralisation – Thinking in terms of ‘always’ or ‘never’. For example, “I can never get anything right”.

Rather than refer to our thoughts as ‘positive’ or ‘negative’, I personally prefer to use the terms ‘helpful’ or ‘unhelpful’. Ask yourself, is it useful for me to think this way? Does this help me to live by my values and purse my goals? In the same way that we stop trying to ‘get rid of’ the songs stuck in our mind, we want to start making choices towards not engaging in our thoughts or getting stuck in the trap of ‘believing them’. Instead, we want to start noticing them more mindfully.

Our thoughts can be quite powerful and influence us in many ways. If you would like some support to shift your thinking to be more helpful and aligned with your values, our team of psychologists are here to help.

This blog was written by Maria Kampantais – Psychologist and Clinical Registrar at YMM.

Maria has been consulting at YMM for many years and enjoys working with clients through the use of evidence-based therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), mindfulness techniques, Motivational Interviewing (MI), and Solution Focused Therapy (SFT).

To learn more about Maria, check out the “Our Team” page on our website! https://yourmindmatters.net.au/our-team/

Mind Full or Mindful?

laura on 12/12/2021

No doubt you, as a therapist or client will at some point in the process be introduced to the principles of Mindfulness. Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us. It is an integral part of some forms of therapy such as Mindfulness based Cognitive Behavioural therapy and Dialectical Behaviour therapy. Mindfulness can provide strategies to manage challenging thoughts and emotions through a focus on the here and now.

Mindfulness can act as a grounding approach to settle ourselves when we’re feeling overwhelmed. If you find yourself stuck with a strong emotion, this approach can help you to feel anchored in the present and restore balance in your body and mind. Grounding skills are helpful to build sensory and cognitive awareness which can also help in therapy as you begin to recognise patterns and trends that either help or hinder you in your goals.

Connecting to nature can be a key part of developing mindful and grounding activities. Nature has the power to reconnect us to ourselves, our present, and our memories, through our senses. Indeed, as Lao Tzu, the Chinese Philosopher from 500 BCE said, ‘Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished’. There is stillness and motion, acceptance and change, all happening under our feet and above our heads.

There are many ways of connecting to nature, but here are a few ideas to get you started.

Forest Bathing

We know from our own experiences that when we are surrounded by trees and their canopies, we can feel calmed, and the scents of the earth and leaves and bark can stimulate our senses in a way that encourages relaxation and reconnection with ourselves and nature.

The Japanese practice of Shinrin-Yoku, translated as ‘forest bathing’, recognises the healing power of forests which provide sensory stimulus to decompresses our nervous system, allowing us to reset and recharge. Originating in the 1980s in Japan it has become a key preventative element of Japanese medicine, with 44 accredited Shinrin-Yoku forests across the country. Internationally this practice is also called ‘Forest Therapy’.

You don’t need to live close to a forest to benefit from forest bathing. A local park with trees will also provide opportunities for wellbeing. As forest bathing is gaining in popularity in Australia there are many choices of accessing in-person or online forest bathing sessions. The Royal Botanic Gardens in Melbourne offers two- or three-hour sessions involving time spent in key gardens and with certain trees, concluding with a shared tea ceremony. for more details: rbg.vic.gov.au

Other ways to connect with Forest Therapy is through individual trained practitioners such as forestwalks.com.au and threelittlebirdsnaturetherapy.com.au where in person and online events occur. You can learn more about this developing health sector here: https://infta.net

If you prefer to go solo with nature, here are some suggestions:

Find a favourite tree spot from your favourite nature place
Take a chair or blanket and stay a while.
Bring a notebook, or sketch pad.
Observe how you feel there. Be with yourself and the natural world.

Water

Similarly, the atmosphere of forests, bodies of water can evoke a sense of calm and tranquillity in us. Watching water or being close to this ‘blue space’ can be meditative. It allows us to connect to the vastness of the ocean landscape, or the intimacy of a flowing river with all of its living lifeforms, bringing us greater calm and connection. Marine Biologist, Wallace J. Nichols, writes about in his book, Blue Mind. Connection to water comes in many different forms from the beach and ocean, or the local creek or river, to a swimming pool or floatation tank. If we are water observers, we can benefit for the connection to it with a walk alongside our chosen blue space. If we prefer to be emersed and receive benefit that way, regular swims at our local pool or beach, spas at a bathhouse (senseofself.com) or natural springs (peninsulahotsprings.com) can support our wellbeing. A more immersive water experience can be found in a floatation tank. Floatation tanks are pods filled with warm salt water and hour-long sessions emersed in them alone can include music and different lightening effects, or quiet darkness. There are many centres around the city, and across the country offering this service and you can learn more here: floattherapy.org.au

Whichever nature path you choose to take, connecting to the earth can support our mental health in many ways.

This blog was written by Ian Clark – Psychologist YMM, and his partner in crime, Rachel Clark

Ian enjoys working with adolescents and adults presenting with a range of difficulties, including mood disorders, anxiety, stress related to school or work, and has years of experience supporting victims of domestic violence. Ian believes it is essential to the therapeutic process to provide a welcoming, safe, and non-judgemental environment in which to carefully explore ways to help people to make positive changes in their lives. He works with clients dealing with a variety of issues and is committed to providing individualised support to each client. To learn more about Ian, check out the “Our Team” page on our website! https://yourmindmatters.net.au/our-team/

Importance of Self-Compassion

laura on 26/07/2021

At some point in our lives, we all have heard the phrase that ‘charity begins at home’! Most of us accept it and even preach it to others when the opportunity for sharing wisdom arises (yeah, we are good at that!). The essence of the above phrase is seated in the value of compassion or kindness towards others. Compassion is empathy, kindness and understanding for others during suffering or challenging times.

So, I have a question for you – have you ever heard that ‘compassion starts with self?’ Probably, not, aside from that fact that I made the phrase up. Chances are that self-compassion is an alien concept and only comes into our lives through social media memes. So let me give you a brief snap shot and advocate the case for ‘self-compassion’ as an essential in our lives.

A simple google search will define ‘self-compassion’ along the lines of empathy, understanding and kindness towards one’s own self, when big or small life challenges happen. Kristen Neff, the world’s leading researcher on self-compassion, has identified three main components to it:

1. Self-kindness vs Self-judgement: treating ourselves with kindness and understanding when we fail, suffer or feel inadequate as opposed to ignoring our needs or belittling ourselves

2. Common-humanity vs Isolation: remembering that everyone fails and suffers at times and that we are not the only ones.

3. Mindfulness vs Over-identification: taking a balanced approach to our challenges and emotions, without over-identifying with heavy emotions or situations.

Kristen’s research has contributed significantly to understanding the importance of practicing self-compassion in daily life and more so when experiencing mental health challenges. Self-compassion also forms a crucial part of my own therapy model and aims at supporting and empowering clients, by helping them connect and understand their own emotions and situations. A simple activity that I encourage client’s to do is to treat themselves at the end of the day, each day. This can be as simple as listening to some music, having a cuppa or going for a walk. Practice makes one perfect!

So, I invite you to explore self-compassion for yourself and incorporate it in small ways within your daily life. Self-compassion will be the strongest script that you can have for yourself. If you would like to work on further developing your skills, our psychologists at Your Mind Matters will be happy to assist you.

Source: self-compassion.org

This blog was written by Prabha Mishr, psychologist at Your Mind Matters Psychology Services. She works with us 2 days per week (day sessions).

Prabha is passionate about building strong rapport with clients and establishing a collaborative relationship. As a practitioner, her belief is that ‘no one size fits all’ and so uses a combination of psychoeducation and research-based interventions such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and play-based therapy to help support clients to reach their goals.

Maintaining Motivation

laura on 21/07/2021

Not motivated to exercise as the COVID-19 pandemic drags on? You’re not alone!

Most of us are having trouble sticking with healthy habits right now. There’s less structure in our lives and social events are cancelled or move online, as a result many of us are facing additional stress and anxiety due to social isolation, financial worries, or family/personal health concerns. All of this makes it hard to maintain motivation. Just like every other challenging time in history, this time shall also pass.

Below is a list of tips to help you achieve your personal best and stay motivated, and how to cope and thrive during these challenging times:

Start your day with a plan and a schedule: It is important to recognise that these are not normal times and individual productivity is likely to be not at its peak right now. So setting daily goals with a list of things you would like to achieve in a day is likely to increase accountability and give you a visual reminder to work on achieving the tasks you have set on your plan.

Squeeze in shorter bouts of activity. By planning when you will work and when you will relax can help you to manage a healthy work-life balance at home. Exercise doesn’t have to be long or for hours. Short bouts of exercise are equally beneficial, and often serve as motivation to exercise more. If you have a busy day, schedule in two ten or fifteen-minute workouts. Or make it a habit to do a round of push-ups in between online meetings. Notice how good exercise makes you feel. You’re much more likely to exercise regularly when you take a moment afterwards to focus on how good you feel.

Think of innovative way to stay connected socially: Why not schedule virtual get-togethers with your friends? Ideas like Friday night drinks, Netflix parties, virtual trivia nights or even group dinner parties, where you all decide on a theme, share recipes and eat together. You could also make a regular date to chat on the phone while each of you walks around your neighbourhood.

Be kind to yourself: Give yourself small rewards when you accomplish a task or goal. Having something to look forward to makes it easier to stick to your plans and maintain motivation. You may find that some days you are highly motivated and get through more tasks than you had planned, but other days you have no focus at all. It’s okay, nothing is normal right now, and we all need to listen to ourselves.

Looking after your mental health: If you are feeling down, anxious, or depressed more than occasionally, this can interfere with your motivation and general health and wellbeing. Ensure that you are getting enough sleep and prioritizing your mental health. If the feelings continue to persist, it’s okay to reach out for support.

Through these tough times, it can hard to stay motivated, just remind yourself that this time will eventually pass, set realistic goals for yourself and take the time to look after yourself.

Remember it’s good to reach out for support. If you are going through difficulties and need to find your inner strength, why not give us a call today? Our team of highly skilled and well-experienced Psychologists are here to help.

This blog was written by Aanchal Sood, Psychologist at Your Mind Matters.

Aanchal completed studies in psychopharmacology and psychology in England, and is fluent in both Hindi and Punjabi.

Aanchal has experience assisting adolescents, adults and couples to address a variety of difficulties including anxiety and mood disorders, grief and loss, trauma and stress related disorders, adjustment issues (e.g. cultural adjustment), sleep difficulties, relationship difficulties, schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorders, obsessive compulsive and related disorders.

Aanchal works with us 1-2 evenings per week.

Coping and Managing with Workplace Stress

laura on 24/07/2019

The workplace environment is rapidly and constantly changing. With online platforms, digital tools and smart devices make work more portable and professional lives more accessible than ever. Whilst these devices are intended to simplify things, they also make professional and personal lives more stressful. It has become all too easy for work to be a 24/7 pursuit. The number of Australian workers stressed because of technology has increased by 27 per cent since 2016, according to the latest workplace survey from Reventure, 2017.

With organisations increasingly putting a strong emphasis on employee productivity, many workers are faced with long hours, unrealistic workloads and looming deadlines. The pressure to be ever-available and ultra-responsive could be having an adverse effect on the health and productivity of employees.

According to statistics provided by health insurance provider Medibank, 3.2 days are lost every year per worker due to stress-related absenteeism. The total cost on the economy weighs in at a staggering $14.81 billion per year, with more than $10 billion being a direct cost to employers. These statistics highlight the importance of maintaining mental wellbeing in the workplace.

Stress affects everyone differently, but there are common symptoms:

Firstly, there are the immediate physical symptoms, like sweaty palms, racing heart, tense muscles, clenched teeth, high blood pressure, and low energy.
Then there are the mental symptoms like constant worrying, racing thoughts, forgetfulness, an inability to focus, and being overly pessimistic.
Lastly, and probably most disruptive to the ability to work, is the emotional impact of workplace stress. Stress causes people to feel overwhelmed and out of control. It is easier to become agitated and frustrated, thus making workplace relationships more difficult. Decision making, focussing and quieting down racing thoughts, becoming a struggle. All of these can lead to a loss of self-esteem and confidence, which in turn leads to procrastination and a loss of motivation.

So here are some tips that can assist in the reduction of work stress:

Getting enough sleep- A healthy mind requires enough sleep. Most would agree that adequate sleep is the most important element in reducing stress and living a balanced lifestyle.

Keeping to a healthy sleep routine, reducing use of electronics before bed and simply an earlier bedtime are all recommended as a means of ensuring adequate sleep.

Reduce the number of interruptions at work- Emails, phone calls, co-workers and clients, many of us can relate to being bombarded from a multitude of sources vying for our attention throughout the day. The high number of distractions encountered in the modern workplace, is a factor in workplace stress.

Allocating structured time periods to deal with tasks requiring communication and collaboration, would enable one to better manage and control interruptions, while setting aside the rest of the day to concentrate on the task at hand.

Setting boundaries on a workday- Continually increasing workload, changes to work environment and unrealistic work expectations increase the chances of burnout, which is characterised by constant fatigue, cynicism, feelings of disenchantment and loss of motivation.

Without clear boundaries, the temptation to continue working is more difficult to contain. Reducing the temptation to overwork requires the identification of factors contributing to the need to put in long hours. These can include:

Unrealistic deadlines;
Scheduling interruptions and work across timelines;
Readily available access to communication (email, phone, chat).

Once identified, these factors can be changed. This may include scheduling work and rest times, having a discussion with management about reasonable workloads and expectations and controlling technology access.

Ensuring that regular breaks are taken- Research shows workplace performance improves after a period of rest and recovery, even among people who enjoy their work.

Whilst taking breaks is important, taking the right types of breaks is also significant. Some suggestion include: Going outside where practical since fresh air has been found to increase energy levels; Resting eyes from all of the screens; Doing some brief stretching exercises; Eating the right food and drinking plenty of water.

There’s no escaping the fact that work is a stressful place. Yet it’s when that stress becomes a constant presence in our lives that we need to start worrying about it. Too much exposure to stress makes us worse at our jobs. It puts us at risk and can have serious consequences to our physical health.

If you would like some support with better managing work stresses, why not give us a call today? Our team of highly skilled and well-experienced psychologists are here to help.

This blog was written by Lana Lubomirska, Psychologist at Your Mind Matters.

Lana is a warm, friendly and empathic practitioner with experience in working with children, adolescents and adults from different cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds.

Lana uses a variety of evidence-based therapies to support clients in addressing difficulties with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, friendship problems and educational stresses. These include Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, Solution Focused Therapy and Mindfulness Techniques as well as elements of psychodynamic and play therapies.

Lana works with us 2 evenings per week.

References

Author Unknown (2019). Burnout: A Growing Mental Health Crisis Employers Are Regrettably Dismissing. Corporate Wellness Magazine. July 17, 2019

McMillen, Lindsay (2017). Industry Insights. Reventure. https://www.convergeinternational.com.au/docs/default-source/research/a-future-that-works—industry-insights.pdf?sfvrsn=fc34b56e_2

Medibank (2019). Are our jobs making us more stressed than ever? 21/1/2019

Smallwood, J. and Schooler, J (2015). The Science of Mind Wandering: Empirically Navigating the Stream of Consciousness. Annual Review of Psychology, Vol. 66:487-518.