Category: Health and Well-Being

Goal setting is the process of creating an action plan with the aim of motivating a person towards a goal. It is an important part of personal development. Every individual will endeavour to set goals for themselves at some point. The most popular goals are those which we call ‘New Year’s Resolutions’. This tradition focuses on setting goals towards changing an undesirable trait or behaviour, and therefore improve one’s life. This tradition of goal setting is likely so popular as people want to start the year anew. However, it doesn’t need to be the start of a new year for you to set some goals around important areas of your life.

Ever tried to set a goal for yourself and found you couldn’t follow through? Most will answer YES! A lack of success in goal setting doesn’t mean that we aren’t as capable as those who seem to achieve all the goals they set. It might just mean that the integral aspect of goal setting known as the action plan, has been missed, meaning that you haven’t thoroughly planned out your goal or thought about how you will go about achieving the goals you set. Often people will not achieve their goals because they are too broad and/or are not realistic given the circumstances. For example, one might set the goal ‘To lose weight’. This goal is very broad and doesn’t tell us any information about what needs to be done to achieve this goal and how we will know when the goal is achieved. So, let’s say the goal was to lose 20 kilograms. In and of itself, this is quite a lot of weight to lose, and the goal has been set quite high. Larger goals should be broken down into smaller, more achievable goals. While the goal to lose 20 kilograms is still there, the focus is on the short-term goal. These small goals lead to achieving the long-term goal. Here’s how it is done…

We can follow the SMART goal setting framework to help create an action plan for goal setting:

S = Specific: Goals should be well defined. Be specific about what you want to achieve.

M = Measurable: Ensure that you can measure the goal over time so you know how far away from completion it is.

A = Achievable: The goal needs to be attainable and one that can be reached successfully.

R = Realistic: The goal should be realistic given the current circumstance and availability of time, knowledge or resources.

T = Timely: Set enough time to complete the goal. Not setting enough time can impact on the overall success of the goal.

Using the SMART goals framework and the weight loss example mentioned above, here is our new SMART goal:

To lose 3 kilograms per month, for the next 7 months, by engaging in regular exercise (1-hour gym workout, 4 times per week) and sticking to an eating regime lower in carbohydrates.

Let’s look at how this goal fits within the SMART goal framework:

• Specific & Achievable: We have specifically outlined what we want to achieve i.e. to lose 3 kilograms each month and have outlined how this will be achieved, i.e. by engaging in exercise and sticking to an eating regime
• Measurable: We can measure progress towards this goal each month
• Realistic: It is realistic given that the action plan involves healthy eating and exercise which we know aid in weight loss
• Timely: We have set a time-limit of monthly review and want to have achieved the goal in 7 months.

When you follow the SMART goal setting framework, your chances of achieving your goals are a lot higher. Wishing you all the best of luck on your goal setting journey.

If you are finding it challenging to set personal goals and would like some support, why not give us a call? Our team of highly skilled and well-experienced Psychologists are here to help. Call us now and take that first step towards obtaining the life you deserve.

This blog was written by Maria Kampantais, psychologist at Your Mind Matters Psychology Services. She works with us 4 days per week (day and evening sessions) and is passionate about working with clients suffering from various anxiety disorders.

Most of us experience stress at some point in our life and some experience other mental health issues during their lifetime. So when do you know you might need to find some help for a mental health issue? Stigma has long been a barrier, but now more and more people readily access therapy and discuss mental health. Everybody feels down or sad at times, but it’s important to be able to recognize when a mood or behavioral change has become more than a temporary thing. Some of the signs that may indicate that it’s time to seek support may include but not limited to:

• Unusual changes in mood, sometimes those changes include more than just your mood, such as, crying frequently without knowing why, having anger outbursts at others for no apparent reason, and feeling anxious in situations that are usually considered non-threatening.
• Changes in the way we cope with life’s pressures can be an indicator.
• Grief: Loss of a loved one, a divorce, relationship breakdown, or loss of employment can be a long and difficult process to endure. While not everyone needs counselling during these times, consulting an expert is not a sign of weakness especially if you’ve experienced multiple losses in a short period of time.
• Sometimes a significant or traumatic event in your life can cause physical and emotional problems. It can be an event that has happened recently or something that happened a long time ago. If you have a history of abuse, neglect or other trauma that you haven’t fully dealt with, or if you find that it impacts your functioning, it’s probably time to seek support.

If you are going through difficulties and need support, why not give us a call today?  Our team of highly skilled and well-experienced Psychologists are here to help.  

This blog was written by Aanchal Sood, Psychologist at Your Mind Matters. Aanchal completed studies in psychopharmacology and psychology in England, and is fluent in both Hindi and Punjabi. Aanchal has experience assisting adolescents, adults and couples to address a variety of difficulties including anxiety and mood disorders, grief and loss, trauma and stress related disorders, adjustment issues (e.g. cultural adjustment), sleep difficulties, relationship difficulties, schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorders, obsessive compulsive and related disorders.  Aanchal works with us 1-2 evenings per week.

MINDFULNESS – WHAT IS IT, AND HOW CAN I DO IT?

You’ve probably heard the words “mindful” or “mindfulness”, but perhaps you aren’t quite sure what this means, or how to engage in mindful behaviours.

What Is Mindfulness? 

Mindfulness is simply the awareness that arises when we deliberately pay attention, non-judgmentally, to what is happening in the present moment, both externally and in our mind and body.

Crucially, this includes our thoughts. So rather than becoming all consumed by the incessant torrent of distracting and potentially stressful thoughts that flood our minds on a daily basis, we are able to step back from them and let them go.

There is a robust, and ever growing, body of research that shows mindfulness-based practices, such as Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction and Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy can help with everything from depression, anxiety, stress and self-esteem to chronic pain, relationship difficulties, creativity and productivity. Mindfulness can also help you to fall asleep at night and assist in moderating your food intake i.e. mindful eating, which is great for those to tend to over-indulge.

Can I Learn Mindfulness?

Absolutely! You have little mindful moments everyday already, we just want to expand on that. You can teach yourself to ‘stop and smell the roses’ more often.

The Basics of Mindfulness 

You don’t need a meditation cushion or bench, or any sort of special equipment to access your mindfulness skills—but you do need to set aside some time and space.

Observe the present moment as it is. The aim of mindfulness is not quieting the mind, or attempting to achieve a state of eternal calm. The goal is simple: we’re aiming to pay attention to the present moment, without judgement. Easier said than done, we know.

Let your judgments roll by. When we notice judgements arise during our practice, we can make a mental note of them, and let them pass.

Return to observing the present moment as it is. Our minds often get carried away in thought. That’s why mindfulness is the practice of returning, again and again, to the present moment.

Be kind to your wandering mind. Don’t judge yourself for whatever thoughts crop up, just practice recognizing when your mind has wandered off, and gently bring it back.

Mindful Sleep Exercise – Body scan relaxation exercise

The body scan technique relies on getting your mind to focus on different parts of your body. There are different methods, and one that I’ve found effective is to imagine taking your mind on a trip around your body.

Use the script below, or perhaps listen to The Relaxation Podcast by Professor Colin Espie from the University of Oxford. With a calming voice, he talks you through a simple muscle relaxation exercise step by step.

Lie down and get yourself comfortable. Imagine your mind leaving your head, and travelling through your body to one of your feet. How does your foot feel? Is it relaxed, tense or sore? Is it hot or cold? Don’t make any judgments on how it feels – simply scan and observe how you feel.

Imagine your toe and foot muscles tightening, and relaxing again.

Then take your mind up to your calf, knee and thigh.

Stop in each body part to repeat the scanning, muscle tensing and relaxing.

Repeat the exercise with your other leg.

Move to a hand and work your way up both arms.

Scan, tense and relax your back, stomach, chest, shoulders and face.

You can either imagine your muscles tensing and relaxing, or physically tense and relax them – do what feels best.

You’ll know it’s starting to work when your limbs begin to feel heavy and you’re happy to sink comfortably into your mattress.

You might find your mind wanders at times. Acknowledge any thoughts that arise in a positive way, but bring your mind gently back to the exercise.

Mindful Eating Exercise: The Raisin Exercise (this is a classic introduction to mindful eating!)

You can follow the written script below, or, even better, get a raisin or some other bite-sized food you enjoy, and head here for an audio recording: http://www.mbsrtraining.com/mindfully-eating-a-raisin-exercise/

Place a few raisins in your hand. If you don’t have raisins, any food will do. Imagine that you have just come to Earth from a distant planet without such food.

Now, with this food in hand, you can begin to explore it with all of your senses.

Focus on one of the objects as if you’ve never seen anything like it before. Focus on seeing this object. Scan it, exploring every part of it, as if you’ve never seen such a thing before. Turn it around with your fingers and notice what colour it is.

Notice the folds and where the surface reflects light or becomes darker.

Next, explore the texture, feeling any softness, hardness, coarseness, or smoothness.

While you’re doing this, if thoughts arise such as “Why am I doing this weird exercise?” “How will this ever help me?” or “I hate these objects,” then just see if you can acknowledge these thoughts, let them be, and then bring your awareness back to the object.

Take the object beneath your nose and carefully notice the smell of it.

Bring the object to one ear, squeeze it, roll it around, and hear if there is any sound coming from it.

Begin to slowly take the object to your mouth, noticing how the arm knows exactly where to go and perhaps becoming aware of your mouth watering consistency as you chew.

When you feel ready to swallow, consciously notice the intention to swallow, then see if you can notice the sensations of swallowing the raisin, sensing it moving down to your throat and into your oesophagus on its way to your stomach.

Take a moment to congratulate yourself for taking this time to experience mindful eating.

Keen to learn more? Here are some articles you may be interested in:

Why sleep and Mindfulness go hand in hand: https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/why-sleep-mindfulness-and-wellness-go-hand-in-hand_uk_57e8f98be4b004d4d86343bd

Mindfulness For Sleep: https://www.thehealthy.com/sleep/mindfulness-for-sleep/ 

The Raisin Exercise for Mindful Eating: http://www.mbsrtraining.com/mindfully-eating-a-raisin-exercise/

6 Ways to Practice Mindful Eating: https://www.mindful.org/6-ways-practice-mindful-eating/

About the author: This blog was written by Laura Forlani, Director and Clinical Psychologist at Your Mind Matters. Laura has completed undergraduate and post graduate studies in psychology, most recently completing a Masters in Clinical Psychology at Swinburne University.She has experience helping children and adults overcome a wide variety of difficulties such as mood and anxiety disorders, and problems arising due to changes in personal circumstances (e.g. family breakdown or a change in career). Her approach to therapy involves education, collaboration, and evidence-based interventions such as cognitive-behaviour therapy, skills training, and relaxation strategies.

Self-esteem plays a key role towards our emotional well-being. Although low self-esteem is not in itself a mental health issue, the two are closely related. Many of the feelings experienced by an individual with low self-esteem can be similar to those of depression and anxiety and can include:

• Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness
• Worrying about your abilities to do things
• Disliking yourself
• Blaming yourself unjustifiably
• Avoidance of new opportunities
• Not being able to assert yourself

For many of us, self-esteem is something which we want more of, however we often lack the knowledge of how to improve self-esteem. Below are some common questions about self-esteem and how to start to build it.

The difference between self-esteem and confidence…

Self-esteem refers to your overall sense of value and personal worth. Simply put, it is about how much you may like, respect and be satisfied with yourself. Self-esteem is often confused with confidence and the two terms are used interchangeably. Confidence refers to the belief you have in your abilities and is likely to vary based on the situation. For instance, an individual may have a healthy level of self-esteem, however lack confidence in their cooking abilities.  

Where does self-esteem come from?

Self-esteem is developed throughout your life and your experiences shape how you view yourselves. When you try new things and the results are beneficial to you, this leads to an increase in your self-esteem. For example, being offered a promotion at work to supervise a team for the first time, and having successful results is likely to increase self-esteem. However, if the role as a supervisor does not go as planned, this may impact on your self-esteem. It is important to note, that what affects self-esteem varies from person-to-person. Some common experiences that may impact on self-esteem include:

• Being involved in a challenging romantic relationship, separation, or divorce
• Experience of domestic violence
• Workplace bullying
• Loss of employment (being terminated or made redundant) and/or difficulty in securing work
• Medical condition (physical or mental health issues)

Early childhood experiences play a particularly crucial role in development of your self-esteem. How you were treated from those around you including your caregivers, family, teachers and peers helps to mould your view of yourself, your worth, and contributes to your overall self-esteem.

            Childhood experiences that may contribute to healthy self-esteem:

• Being listened to and acknowledged
• Recognition for your successes and acknowledgement of mistakes
• Being treated with respect and spoken to appropriately
• Sound level of love, nurture and affection

Childhood experiences that may contribute to low self-esteem:

• Verbal, physical, sexual or emotional abuse
• Being told that you are not good enough
• Lack of acknowledgment for your achievements, being told you could have performed better, or failures (e.g. not passing a subject at school) being reflected as a failure of your whole life
• Being ignored
• Bullying or teasing

Ways to build self-esteem:

Positive self-talk

Self-talk is what we say to ourselves, either aloud or in our mind. Often, we may not be aware of our self-talk, but it has an influence on how we perceive ourselves, how we behave and how we feel. Negative self-talk can be extremely harmful to our self-esteem, it includes thoughts like “I can’t do anything right”. To help shift your self-talk to be more positive, try looking at the thought from a different perspective. Ask yourself:

• Is my self-talk helpful or unhelpful?
• Do I have all the facts?
• Is there another way to view the situation?
• Could there be something that I have overlooked or that I am missing?
• Would I speak to others in the same way?
• What would I say to someone else if they told me they were thinking this way about themselves?

Positive affirmations

Affirmations are positive statements that can help to challenge and overcome your negative self-talk. These phrases described how you would like to be. Repeating positive affirmations helps you to start seeing things from a more positive perspective. Think about how doing repetitive physical exercises can improve your fitness and physical health over time. In this similar way, positive affirmations can help to provide you with a more optimistic outlook. Examples of affirmations include: “I am a likeable person”, “I have a lot to be proud of”, and “I am in control of my life”. For a list of positive affirmations visit https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/PositiveAffirmations.pdf

Strengths and positive qualities

Focus on your strengths and positive qualities. If you struggle, think about what others would say about you. Here is a link with a list of positive qualities: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/positive-traits.pdf

As an exercise, circle your strongest positive qualities and then ask a family member or friend to circle the traits that they identify as your strengths (make sure to give them a new copy of the positive traits list and they don’t see your responses). The results may surprise you and help you see how others may view you in a more positive light.

Gratitude journal

It is all too easy to get caught up in the negative aspects of our day and focus on what didn’t go well. We often don’t think about what we are grateful for or what positive experiences may have occurred. A gratitude journal is a great tool to help you focus on the positive experiences of each day. Think about three things you are grateful for each day. No matter how big or small. If you get stuck, you can use prompts, however these are optional. The following prompts may be useful:

• The best part about today…
• Something I am grateful for today…
• Today I learned…
• Something beautiful I saw today…

For more information and a different version of a gratitude journal, which doesn’t require daily entries visit https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/gratitude-journal.pdf

A final note…

I hope this has been helpful in answering your questions about low self-esteem, as well as provided you with some ideas of how to start to improve self-esteem. If you are experiencing low self-esteem and would like some support, why not give us a call? Our team of highly skilled and well-experienced Psychologists are here to help. Call us now and take that first step towards obtaining the life you deserve.

The following articles were referenced in creation of this blog:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/

https://cmhc.utexas.edu/selfesteem.html

This blog was written by Maria Kampantais, Psychologist at Your Mind Matters. Maria works with us 4 days per week and has both evening and day session times.  To learn more  about Maria, click here.

Resilience is often described as an individual’s ability to transform adversity into wisdom, insight and compassion. Resilience is ordinary not extraordinary that means everybody has resilience, it’s a question of how well is it used when needed. High resilience does not mean that an individual does not feel pain but simply means that they have found a good way to deal with negative events in life possibly quicker than others.  Like any other human skill, everyone has the capacity to build resilience and to do so the most needed ingredient to the recipe is willingness to do so.

Here’s a list of strategies to build resilience:

Positive Thinking:  Thinking patterns are known to trigger emotional patterns. Because we have built-in survival mechanisms, our brains are naturally wired to pay more attention to negative events than the positive ones. But in essence, we experience positive events with much greater frequency. One key to building resilience is noticing and appreciating those positive experiences whenever and wherever they occur.

Nurture a positive view of yourself: When you discover a positive attribute in yourself, it is important to nurture it by self-talk, sharing it with important loved ones or by maintaining a journal.  Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience.

Self- care:  Taking care of yourself helps to keep your mind and body well equipped to deal with situations that require resilience. So is important to pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing and exercise regularly.

Learning from past experiences: Focusing on past experiences and how you dealt with them gives personal strength and ability to identify strategies for building resilience. Learning from reactions to challenging life events is likely to enhance your self-belief, confidence and helps with building wisdom.

Goal setting:  Developing realistic goals and focusing on achieving one big or small goal each day enables you to move forward and achieve bigger goals. Focusing on this accomplishment is likely to build strength and enhance ability to have a hopeful outlook.

“When we tackle obstacles, we find hidden reserves of courage and resilience we did not know we had. And it is only when we are faced with failure do we realise that these resources were always there within us. We only need to find them and move on to using them” (By A P J Abdul Kalam)  

 If you are going through difficulties and need to find your inner strength, why not give us a call today?  Our team of highly skilled and well-experienced Psychologists are here to help.  

This blog was written by Aanchal Sood, Psychologist at Your Mind Matters. Aanchal completed studies in psychopharmacology and psychology in England, and is fluent in both Hindi and Punjabi. Aanchal has experience assisting adolescents, adults and couples to address a variety of difficulties including anxiety and mood disorders, grief and loss, trauma and stress related disorders, adjustment issues (e.g. cultural adjustment), sleep difficulties, relationship difficulties, schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorders, obsessive compulsive and related disorders.  Aanchal works with us 1-2 evenings per week.

Christmas is fast approaching, and the 2017 year is nearing a close. For many the festive season is a time of giving, spending time with loved ones, and let’s not forget the elaborate feasts! It’s all too often that we get caught up in the hype of the festive season, whether it be buying gifts, writing our seasons greetings or preparing for Santa’s arrival. We can easily forget the importance of caring for ourselves and the focus all too often becomes caring for those around us. Here are some tips for self-care this festive season:

Be mindful

What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is noticing and being aware of the present moment. It’s about paying attention to our thoughts, feelings, and sensations in our body.

Mindfulness can be a great tool to help us identify when the pressure of the holidays is getting too much. We quickly find ourselves in the pattern of carrying on from one task to the next, and feeling as though we are running a marathon! And YES we do get things done, but at times we can be left feeling exhausted and drained. Through the process of getting caught up in the hype of the holidays, we may lose touch of the present and miss out on enjoying the moment.

Try and incorporate mindfulness this Christmas. Ask yourself “how am I feeling right now?”. Notice any tension in your body (most of us hold tension in our shoulders, upper back, neck and/or jaw). Are you feeling tired? Worn out? Is everything getting too much and leading to that sense of overwhelming doom? Or are you feeling relaxed and balanced? Unless we are in the habit of checking in with ourselves regularly, we may not notice the signs. Set a reminder on your phone to pause and check in with yourself every few hours, listen to your body. Guided mindfulness meditation can be beneficial. Smiling Mind is a free app that can help you to learn how to engage in mindfulness practices. Pay attention to your senses and notice what you can see, feel, hear, taste or smell. For example, listen to your favourite song and immerse yourself in it by paying attention to the lyrics and the music. 

Remember to breathe

Focus on your breathing. When we are stressed, our breathing tends to become shallow. Practice taking slow and steady breaths by inhaling through your nose for four seconds, holding that breath for two seconds, and exhaling through the mouth for six seconds.

Just five minutes

When you notice yourself feeling overwhelmed by a situation, take five minutes away from the task at hand to engage in a relaxing activity. This can include going outside and sitting in your garden, spending time with your pet whether this means playing fetch with your pup or snuggling up on the couch with your feline fur baby, doing some gentle stretching, making a cup of tea/coffee, dancing to your favourite song, calling a friend, or watching a funny clip on YouTube. The options are endless.

Exercise

Exercise is a great way to reduce stress and produce endorphins (mood enhancing chemicals in the brain). Going for a walk or bike ride can be a great way to escape the busyness of the holiday season and can help to clear your mind of those worries. Engaging in yoga or Pilates can help to reduce stress and manage low mood and anxiety. Or why not try something fun this festive season like ice skating or getting out those roller skates. Whatever form of exercise you engage in will be beneficial and why not have some fun with it.  

Do something creative

Being creative can be enjoyable as well as relaxing. Try making your own Christmas cards or ornaments. Instead of buying gifts, you could consider DIY gifts such as mason jar brownie mix or body scrubs. Whip up a bunch of festive cookies, make a gingerbread house or some fruit mince pies.  

Drink plenty of water

Water helps to keep you hydrated, increases energy levels and relieves fatigue. Challenge yourself, friends, family and co-workers to see who can drink the most water. You will have fun as well as reap the benefits.

Remember to take a pause, reflect, and engage in self-care this Christmas.

From all of us, at Your Mind Matters Psychology, we wish you a Merry Christmas and a safe and prosperous New Year!!!!

This blog was written by Maria Kampantais, Psychologist at Your Mind Matters. Maria works with us 4 days per week and has both evening and day session times.  To learn more  about Maria, click here.