Health and Well-Being Archives

Self-compassion: Why is it important?

laura on 01/05/2024

Life can be extremely difficult. The possibility of human experience is endless. Regardless of how privileged or disadvantaged we are; human beings all connect in our capacity for psychological suffering.

We all can move to listening to a harsh internal critic. Do you have an inner critic? If so, what is the purpose of this critic? Is this critic chastising you, searching for your flaws, punishing you, and comparing you? Is it maybe even preventing you from doing things you love, or from living by your values and being your authentic self?

Let’s consider a few examples:

Imagine you have broken your leg and fractured your ribs from a bicycle accident and that you have the choice of getting help with daily tasks from companion A or companion B.

Companion A says to you: “Suck it up, it’s not that bad, you’re pathetic! Plenty of people are worse off than you, quit with the baby tears”

Companion B says to you: “This absolutely sucks. You must be in some really awful pain and feel like you’ve lost some independence that I know is so important to you. I’m here for you, let’s just take it slow together”

Strangely we are often the Companion B to our friends but often not to ourselves!

Imagine a close friend of yours just went through a romantic relationship break-up. They tell you their heartfelt story, and you listen intently from start to finish. Your friend isn’t perfect, but they deserve to be happy. You reassure them that they’ll get through this, they’re a wonderful human being, and that it can be painful, but they will be okay.

You don’t judge your friend. You don’t tell them they are not worthy, they are unlovable, will never find anybody, are ugly, stupid or that they need to change. You show your friend compassion. Strangely we often don’t do the same for ourselves!

Imagine you are at work and your boss calls you in for a meeting to have your annual review. She discusses your strengths and lets you know she is so happy to have you on the team. She then gives you some constructive advice related to organisation/planning skills. Coming from a place of critical judgment, you only hear the negative, and tell yourself, “I’m an incompetent idiot. I’m a shambolic mess and I can’t do anything right”. You head home and feel stressed out, go over all your flaws from memory and can’t sleep.

Coming from a place of fairness and acceptance, you see and hear the whole message, and tell yourself, “I’m doing a really solid job & working well with the team. I’m going to take on her helpful advice and learn from this”. This is a more compassionate response.

What is self-compassion?

There are many different definitions of self-compassion in the literature. I kind of like Neff (2003) that suggests there are 3 components that collaboratively interact to develop a self-compassionate frame of mind:

Self-kindness versus self-judgement – Self-kindness is simply that! Responding with and developing a tendency to be caring and understanding with oneself, and letting go of the harsh judgmental critic. It is about being honest with ourselves about our pain, our flaws, our mistakes and not ignoring, and also not wallowing in self-pity; but acknowledging and responding with genuine kindness, soothing and comfort to the self.
A sense of common humanity versus isolation – The common humanity aspect involves recognizing that all human beings have cracks, and make mistakes. We aren’t alone here! Nobody is perfect! These flaws and cracks make us who we are and connecting one’s own flawed condition to the shared human condition helps with greater perspective and understanding. Individuals who are self-compassionate accept themselves as they are and for who they are, rather than what or who they “should” be.
Mindfulness versus overidentification – Mindfulness involves simply being aware of one’s present moment experience and accepting things as they are. It is not ignoring or ruminating, but observing and accepting the pain, and being self-compassionate. Mindfulness will also help in developing self-compassion habits, like recognizing when your body is feeling anxious and your thoughts are being judgmental toward yourself.

What we know from the research is that when you’re critical and judgmental of yourself, you’re more likely to experience feelings of anger, anxiety, sadness, loneliness and insecurity. When you treat yourself fairly you are in a position to manage these uncomfortable feelings with acceptance.

Self-compassionate individuals often take pride in their human characteristics and believe they are good natured, well-meaning, and competent, and happily understand their unique weaknesses or areas they can work on. They know they are a work in progress and embrace it.

It’s kind of hard to break old habits and practice self-compassion.

I encourage you to treat yourself fairly and with kindness, and see what happens.

References

Barnard, L. K., & Curry, J. F. (2011). Self-compassion: Conceptualizations, correlates, & interventions. Review of General Psychology, 15(4), 289-303.

Neff, K. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and identity, 2(3), 223-250.

This blog was written by Karen Dreher – Counsellor at YMM.

Karen is a member of The Australian Counselling Association (ACA). She has completed a Masters of Counselling, a Graduate Diploma in Psychology, and additional training in Gottman (couples) Therapy.

Karen is a person-centred counsellor who values the diversity of human narrative and her client’s own personal meanings, experiences and feelings. Karen provides a warm, empathetic, authentic space that supports clients in engaging in their own self-understanding and healthy well-being.

To learn more about Karen, check out the “Our Team” page on our website! https://yourmindmatters.net.au/our-team/

Coping with the Stress of Year 12’s Final Semester with Strategies for Success

laura on 20/09/2023

Photo by Windows on Unsplash

The final year of high school, Year 12, is a crucial period in a student’s academic journey. It’s a time filled with academic pressures, applications for further study for some, and the looming sense of transition into adulthood. Coping with the stress of the year 12’s final semester is essential for both academic success and overall well-being. As psychologists and counsellors, we often encounter young people who present with high anxiety in relation to their final semester at high school. As a parent / caregiver, witnessing your young person navigate the stress of Year 12’s final semester can also be a challenging experience. Your support and guidance play a crucial role in helping your young person to succeed during this pivotal time in their academic journey. In this blog entry, we’ll explore ways students can cope at this time, and how parents / caregivers can effectively support and encourage their young person while also managing their own stress.

For Students

Time Management and Organization / Study Techniques

One of the first steps in dealing with Year 12 stress is effective time management. Create a study schedule that allows you to allocate sufficient time for each subject, breaks, and relaxation. Use tools like calendars and task lists to keep yourself organized and on track. Experiment with different study techniques to find what works best for you. This might include creating study guides, flashcards, whilst participating in study groups can also help. Don’t forget to take regular, longer breaks to prevent burnout. The Pomodoro technique (https://www.verywellmind.com/pomodoro-technique-history-steps-benefits-and-drawbacks-6892111) can help to focus time and attention, whilst scheduling breaks to maintain your commitment to the task.

Set Realistic Goals

While high expectations can be motivating, setting overly ambitious goals can lead to unnecessary stress. Establish realistic academic and personal goals that are achievable within your capacity. Using SMART goal setting techniques can help to break overall goals down into smaller, manageable tasks to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

Seek Support

Don’t hesitate to seek help from teachers, tutors, or classmates if you’re struggling with coursework. Communication is key, and educators are usually more than willing to offer guidance and support. Additionally, confiding in friends and family about your stress can provide emotional relief.

Practice Self-Care

Your mental and physical well-being should be a top priority. Make time for self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, and spending time with friends and loved ones. Getting enough sleep and eating a balanced diet are essential for maintaining your energy and focus.

Mindfulness and Stress Reduction

Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing and meditation, can help manage stress and anxiety. Incorporate these practices into your daily routine to stay grounded and calm, especially during exam periods.

Manage Exam Anxiety

It’s normal to feel anxious before exams, but excessive anxiety can hinder your performance. Practice relaxation techniques, visualize success, and use positive self-talk to boost your confidence. Grounding techniques (https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques#soothing-techniques) can be helpful to manage your anxiety.

Stay Informed About Uni / TAFE Applications

If further education applications are part of your Year 12 journey, stay informed about deadlines, requirements, and other financial assistance opportunities. Start the application process early to avoid last-minute stress.

Celebrate Achievements

Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Positive reinforcement can boost your motivation and reduce stress.

Keep Perspective

Remember that Year 12 is just one phase of your life. While it’s important, it doesn’t define your entire future or who you are as a person. Keep perspective on your long-term goals and aspirations and be kind to yourself along the way.

For Parents / Caregivers / Carers

Introduction

As a parent / caregiver, witnessing your young person navigate the stress of Year 12’s final semester can be a challenging experience. Your support and guidance play a crucial role in helping them to succeed during this pivotal time in their academic journey. Read on for ways you can effectively support and encourage your young person while also managing your own stress.

Open and Non-Judgmental Communication

Create an open and non-judgmental environment where your young person feels comfortable discussing their concerns, fears, and achievements. Listen actively to their thoughts and feelings and avoid imposing undue pressure.

Understand Their Needs

Recognise that each person in your care is unique. Understand your young person’s learning style, strengths, and challenges. This knowledge can help you provide tailored support.

Set Realistic Expectations

While you want the best for your young person, it’s essential to hold realistic expectations. Encourage them to do their best without placing undue pressure to achieve perfection.

Provide a Structured Environment

Help your young person establish a structured daily routine that includes study time, breaks, and relaxation. Ensure they have a quiet and comfortable place to study.

Offer Emotional Support

Year 12’s final semester can be emotionally taxing. Be a source of emotional support, offering encouragement, understanding, and reassurance. Let them know that you believe in their abilities and recognise their efforts.

Encourage Self-Care

Emphasize the importance of self-care. Encourage your young person to maintain a healthy diet, get enough sleep, and engage in physical activities or hobbies they enjoy.

Help with Time Management

Teach your young person time management skills. Assist them in creating a study schedule, setting achievable goals, and prioritising tasks if they are happy to accept your help.

Celebrate Achievements

Celebrate your young person’s achievements, both big and small. Positive reinforcement can boost their confidence and motivation.

Connect with Educators

Maintain open lines of communication with your young person’s teachers and other school supports. Stay informed about their academic progress and address any concerns promptly.

Manage Your Own Stress

Managing your own stress is essential. Take time to relax, practice self-care, and seek support from friends, family, or professionals if needed. Your own well-being is crucial in providing effective support to your young person.

Be Flexible

Understand that there may be setbacks or challenging moments. Be flexible and adapt your approach as needed. Sometimes, a temporary change in study strategies or routines can make a big difference.

Discuss Future Plans

Have open discussions about your young person’s post-Year 12 plans. This can include university / TAFE applications, career aspirations, and any additional support they may need.

Supporting your young person through the stress of Year 12’s final semester requires patience, empathy, and effective communication. By offering encouragement, creating a supportive environment, and ensuring their well-being, you can help them to navigate this challenging phase with greater ease. Remember that your unwavering support can make a significant difference in their academic success and overall well-being.

Here are three popular book references that discuss coping with supporting a young person through high school:

“The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed” by Jessica Lahey

This book explores the importance of allowing young people to experience failure and learn from their mistakes. It provides insights into how parents / caregivers can support their young person’s growth and development by not putting excessive pressure on them, which is especially relevant during the stressful Year 12 period.

“Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck

This book delves into the concept of fixed and growth mindsets and how they influence learning and achievement. It offers valuable guidance on how parents / caregivers can foster a growth mindset in their young person, helping them approach challenges, including Year 12 stress, with resilience and a positive attitude.

“Mindfulness for Teen Anxiety: A Workbook for Overcoming Anxiety at Home, at School, and Everywhere Else” by Christopher Willard

This workbook is tailored specifically for adolescents and offers practical mindfulness-based strategies for managing anxiety and stress.

NB: Remember that your young person is so much more than their final ATAR score and support them to understand / believe this too.

This blog was written by Ian Clark – Clinical Psychologist at YMM.

Ian is a Clinical Psychologist with over 10 years experience in private practice. He enjoys working with adolescents and adults presenting with a range of difficulties, including mood disorders, anxiety, and stress related to school or work. Ian believes it is essential to the therapeutic process to provide a welcoming, safe, and non-judgemental environment in which to carefully explore ways to help people to make positive changes in their lives.

To learn more about Ian, check out the “Our Team” page on our website! https://yourmindmatters.net.au/our-team/

How to Succeed in Achieving Your Goals: A Quick Guide to Changeology

laura on 10/05/2023

Photo by Annick Saminaden

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”

Henry David Thoreau

Change is a Process not a Single Event or Action

Humans are capable of impressive personal accomplishments even in the midst of deep suffering. The backbone of all goals is embracing self-change. Whether making a new habit stick (e.g., going to the gym) or making a permanent transformative life change (e.g., ending long-term addiction), navigating the process of change can be daunting.

The science of behaviour change (Changeology) outlines a more efficient and effective path to successful change and goal achievement, based on 40 years of extensive psychological research (Norcross, 2013).

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”

Albert Einstein

SMART Intrinsic Goals Provide Effective Direction to the New You

Define SMART goals to maximise your chances of success (Moore, 2019; Sutton 2020). Make your goals relevant to you and your life priorities. Intrinsic goals have deeply rooted personal meaning and align with our core values and need for growth and fulfilment. Meaning provides a sense of direction, purpose and satisfaction in life.

Specify realistic goals (and subgoals), differentiating between short-term and long-term goals. Ensure goals are within your control and are expressed in a healthy/positive direction. Measure your goals (e.g. number of cigarettes smoked) to track progress. Successful self-changers teach us that it takes 90 days to create lasting behaviour change (Norcross, 2013).

“ A goal without a plan is just a wish.”

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Stage of Change Predicts the Probability of Long-term Success

People’s journey of change typically unfolds over time across 5 sequential Stages:

Precontemplation (deny/minimise problem; no intention to change),

Contemplation (recognise problem; ambivalent about change; no commitment to act),

Preparation (intend to take action/ take “baby steps”),

Action (modify behaviour, experiences and/or environment to overcome problem),

Maintenance (prevent relapse and stabilise behaviour change over time).

People spend varying time in each stage, but complete specific activities at each stage to progress to the next stage (Transtheoretical Model). The further along you are in the stages, the more likely you are to succeed. Assess My State of Change (Dr John Norcross, https://www.changeologybook.com/) helps identify your readiness for change.

Key to Efficient Change and Goal Achievement: Doing the Right Thing at the Right Time

Dr Norcross’ scientific approach to realising goals involves traversing 5 sequential Steps over a period of 90 days. At every step, goal progression is tracked (e.g., graphing cigarettes smoked). This maintains focus, provides feedback and helps reward your achievement.

People derail at any step. Some remain in Contemplation confronted by unrealistic expectations/self-defeating thoughts. Others rely excessively on motivation/ willpower when needing skills to take Action. Research shows that 15% of individuals who relapse regress to Precontemplation while 85% move back to Contemplation and eventually back into Action. Moving from Contemplation to Action doubles a person’s chances of succeeding (e.g., sobriety).

Successful self-changers typically recycle through the Steps in a spiral path, before reaching their end goals and creating lasting change (e.g., maintaining sobriety). Focus on meaningful goals that place you further along in the 5 Steps process.

The key to success involves identifying your Step (stage) and implementing proven strategies/change catalysts specific to that Step, in order to move to the next Step (Step matching).

Norcross’ 5 Steps and Strategies to Achieving Your Goals:

1. Psych: Get Ready (Stage: Contemplation; Week 1&2)

Outline intrinsic goals and define the New You (without consequences of the problem behaviour). Increase motivation to change.

Catalysts: Raising awareness of problem behaviour/ (un)desirable consequences and (New) You. Harnessing emotions pulling you away from change/towards a better ideal future. Redirecting these emotions (e.g., fear/ guilt/ shame/regret) to propel you forward. Committing- reviewing Pros/Cons of change; declaring your goal to another person.

2. Prep: Prepare Before Leaping (Stage: Preparation; Week 2&3)

Define SMART Goals. Understand the behavioural chain of the problem behaviour (triggers /behaviour/consequences). Build commitment before making your goal public. Choose your start day, identify support people, take “baby steps” and prepare for the launch.

Catalysts: Committing (e.g., practicing healthy alternative behaviour to increase self-efficacy); Finalising Action Plan with your Change Team (1-4 committed/supportive people).

3. Perspire: Take Action (Stage: Action; Week 2-8)

Develop healthy alternatives to the problem and build new behaviours. Create a flourishing environment/Change Team.

Catalysts: Rewarding yourself for keeping on track. Countering (doing healthy opposites of the behavioural problem, e.g., confronting dreaded situations); Controlling your environment (e.g., avoiding high-risk situations/people that can rekindle problem behaviour); Maintaining contact with Change Team (e.g., to keep a positive outlook, cope ahead, practice skills-Saying NO to requests that regress to old behaviour).

4. Persevere: Manage Slips (Stage: Maintenance; Week 8-12)

Minimize exposure to triggers that precipitate a slip; Recognise a slip (lapse; single unwanted event) need not become a fall (relapse; end goal is abandoned /reverting back to old patterns); Forge towards your goal despite unavoidable self-defeating thoughts/feelings/setbacks. Reach out to your Change Team for support.

Catalysts: Responding constructively after a slip; Preparing for the next time you slip (Create My Slip Card; Dr John Norcross, https://www.changeologybook.com/).

5. Persist: Maintain Change (Stage: Maintenance; Week 12 and beyond)

Master relapse prevention skills to maintain the New You. Have backup plans for unavoidable slips. If a rare slip occurs, understand the behaviour/situation, and shift any self-blame to lessons learnt and respond constructively to steer yourself back on track towards your goal.

Catalysts: Sustaining new behaviour (value/intrinsic meaning act as reinforcer); Enhancing self-efficacy across high-risk situations; Understanding process of change; Distinguishing between when to exit or persevere for a lifetime. Exit if temptation to regress/relapse across triggers is very low, self-efficacy to maintain the new behaviour is high across situations and a healthy lifestyle precludes the old problem behaviour.

“ The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”

Lao Tzu

Persevere Towards Your Goals with One Small Step at a Time

Through the science of behaviour change, you understand why your efforts derail(ed) and how to steer yourself back on track towards successful goal achievement. You learn to celebrate progress, build self-efficacy and develop self-compassion. You also learn to harness emotions to turn your fears into fuel and feel empowered in your ability to make meaningful, lasting change.

Whatever unique goals or personal change you are seeking, our team of highly skilled mental health professionals at Your Mind Matters is here to support you.

Resources

Changeology Resources – Book, ChangeologyBook.com Free Resources, Podcast, Youtube

Norcross, J. C. (2013). Changeology: 5 Steps to realize your goals and resolutions. New York: Simon & Schuster.

Dr John Norcross- ChangeologyBook.com (e.g., Self-Assessments- Assess My State of Change, Self-Change Exercises-Create My Slip Card).

https://www.changeologybook.com/

Dr John Norcross – Proven Methods to Define Your Goals.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKaqw_o8OlU

Dr John Norcross – 5 Basic Steps of Change.

https://youtu.be/LVBIQGIPkRY

5 Stages of Change from the Transtheoretical Model.

https://youtu.be/VVyhhMzWkiU

Podcast- Dr John Norcross

How to Make Lasting Changes in Your Life with John Norcross.

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/dir-tj6sn-1637861a?utm_campaign=w_share_ep&utm_medium=dlink&utm_source=w_share

Goal Setting and Achieving Goals -Defining SMART Goals, Free Worksheets

Moore, C. (2019, May 27). How to Set and Achieve Life Goals The Right Way.

https://positivepsychology.com/life-worth-living-setting-life-goals/

Sutton, Jeremy (2020, July 01). Goal-Setting: 20 Templates & Worksheets for Achieving Goals.

https://positivepsychology.com/goal-setting-templates-worksheets/

Science behind Goals, Values, Meaning, Behaviour Change and Flourishing:

Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002). Building a practically useful theory of goal setting and task motivation: A 35-year odyssey. American Psychologist, 57(9), 705.

Maslow, A.H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370.

Prochaska, J. O., & DiClemente, C. C. (1982). Transtheoretical therapy: Toward a more integrative model of change. Psychotherapy: Theory, research & practice, 19 (3), 276-288.

Norcross, J. C., Mrykalo, M. S., & Blagys, M. D. (2002). Auld Lang Syne: Success predictors, change processes, and self-reported outcomes of New Year’s resolvers and nonresolvers. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58(4), 397-405.

Norcross, J. C., Krebs, P. M., & Prochaska, J. O. (2011). Stages of change. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 67, 143-154.

Seligman, M. E. (2004). Authentic happiness: Using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfilment. Simon and Schuster.

Seligman, M. E. (2012). Flourish: A visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Simon and Schuster.

This blog was written by Annick Saminaden – Psychologist at YMM.

Annick is interested in assisting young people and adults presenting with a wide range of issues including mental health, stress, grief/loss, trauma, self-esteem, assertiveness, perfectionism and school/workplace/career.

Annick provides a safe, non-judgmental and collaborative space to empower clients to create meaningful changes in their lives and enhance their overall well-being. She incorporates a number of evidence-based approaches into her psychological practice including Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Schema Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, Solution-Focused Therapy and relaxation techniques. She tailors these approaches to meet the unique needs of her clients.

To learn more about Annick, check out the “Our Team” page on our website! https://yourmindmatters.net.au/our-team/

Importance of Self-Compassion

laura on 26/07/2021

At some point in our lives, we all have heard the phrase that ‘charity begins at home’! Most of us accept it and even preach it to others when the opportunity for sharing wisdom arises (yeah, we are good at that!). The essence of the above phrase is seated in the value of compassion or kindness towards others. Compassion is empathy, kindness and understanding for others during suffering or challenging times.

So, I have a question for you – have you ever heard that ‘compassion starts with self?’ Probably, not, aside from that fact that I made the phrase up. Chances are that self-compassion is an alien concept and only comes into our lives through social media memes. So let me give you a brief snap shot and advocate the case for ‘self-compassion’ as an essential in our lives.

A simple google search will define ‘self-compassion’ along the lines of empathy, understanding and kindness towards one’s own self, when big or small life challenges happen. Kristen Neff, the world’s leading researcher on self-compassion, has identified three main components to it:

1. Self-kindness vs Self-judgement: treating ourselves with kindness and understanding when we fail, suffer or feel inadequate as opposed to ignoring our needs or belittling ourselves

2. Common-humanity vs Isolation: remembering that everyone fails and suffers at times and that we are not the only ones.

3. Mindfulness vs Over-identification: taking a balanced approach to our challenges and emotions, without over-identifying with heavy emotions or situations.

Kristen’s research has contributed significantly to understanding the importance of practicing self-compassion in daily life and more so when experiencing mental health challenges. Self-compassion also forms a crucial part of my own therapy model and aims at supporting and empowering clients, by helping them connect and understand their own emotions and situations. A simple activity that I encourage client’s to do is to treat themselves at the end of the day, each day. This can be as simple as listening to some music, having a cuppa or going for a walk. Practice makes one perfect!

So, I invite you to explore self-compassion for yourself and incorporate it in small ways within your daily life. Self-compassion will be the strongest script that you can have for yourself. If you would like to work on further developing your skills, our psychologists at Your Mind Matters will be happy to assist you.

Source: self-compassion.org

This blog was written by Prabha Mishr, psychologist at Your Mind Matters Psychology Services. She works with us 2 days per week (day sessions).

Prabha is passionate about building strong rapport with clients and establishing a collaborative relationship. As a practitioner, her belief is that ‘no one size fits all’ and so uses a combination of psychoeducation and research-based interventions such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and play-based therapy to help support clients to reach their goals.

Maintaining emotional wellbeing during the COVID-19 pandemic

laura on 14/04/2020

2020 sure hasn’t turned out like we envisioned. What started as a regular year, soon turned into something very different. During the COVID-19 pandemic we have all been faced with uncertainty and a level of fear and anxiety. Coupled with that are the frequently changing guidelines/rules we have been asked to adhere to and this can easily lead to feeling overwhelmed. Life as we know it has changed, and what we deemed as “normal” is no longer relevant, well for the short-term that is! We are all in uncharted territory. As a community, we know that we must remain home, to reduce the curve but with that comes a lot of change and adjustment.

Here are some tips to help with maintaining emotional wellbeing whilst in isolation:

Stay socially connected. This is most fundamental! Whilst social distancing inhibits us from seeing friends and family, that doesn’t mean we need to disconnect from our supports. Stay connected to family and friends through regular telephone conversations, text messaging, social media or video chat. My personal preference is video chat, as you can see the person and it helps to form that personal connection. There are lots of group video chat platforms and apps that are free to download, e.g. Zoom, Skype, Houseparty. Why not schedule in a coffee catchup with mates online or play online games together? I was recently introduced to the Houseparty app which I found was a great way to chat to several friends at once and we could play in-built games together through the app which included trivia and the apps own version of Pictionary. It was great fun!
Establish a daily routine. Routines are beneficial as they provide structure, aid us to be more productive and efficient, encourage good habits and reduce stress. Although your regular routine may not be applicable to the current situation, establishing a new routine/maintaining a form of your usual routine is still important. Allowing yourself to fall out of routine can lead to increased distress and feelings of disempowerment. Sticking to a routine such as a regular bedtime and awakening time, scheduling in time for work/study as well as planning enjoyable activities to look forward to each day, regular exercise, and opportunities to relax, can help to increase your sense of control.
Exercise. Exercise is a natural way to reduce stress and is great for physical and emotional wellbeing! Try and get outdoors for a walk, jog, run or bike ride (remembering to adhere to social distancing regulations). Ask other members in your household to join you or take the kids for a bike ride/scooter ride. If you have some exercise equipment at home, try to schedule in time each day for a workout. There are lots of apps available, online resources, and YouTube exercise clips you can access. For those with an existing gym membership, your gym may be offering online sessions. Why not make the most of your membership and give it a go?!
Relaxation. Set aside time each day to engage in a relaxing activity like a nice bath, reading or a jigsaw. You may wish to try mindfulness meditation (the Smiling Mind app is free and has lots of guided meditations to choose from), some gentle stretching, or calm breathing. For more ideas on various relaxation strategies check out my blog https://yourmindmatters.net.au/incorporating-relaxation-everyday-life/.
Focus on what is within your control. Let’s face it, there is so much that is outside of our control at the moment. No we cannot control the COVID-19 pandemic, the regulations the government has put in place and is enforcing, the impact the pandemic has had on the economy, employment rate, the way we live our lives…the list goes on. I can’t stress how vital it is to focus on what is within your control, what you can do and the choices you can make. Concentrate on how you can look after yourself and others in your household, who you can connect with and offer support/help to (this could include family, friends or the community), and things you can do right now/in the moment that helps to enhance your life or that of others.
Make it fun. Although there are likely other things you’d prefer to be doing, rather than staying at home all day, take the opportunity to make your time at home fun. Some ideas include:

Setting up a tent in the backyard and making a bonfire…you can even roast some marshmallows!
Scavenger hunt
Games night (boardgames, cards, videogames etc)
Indoor picnic
Movie marathon
Art/craft activities

Manage your exposure to news/media coverage. There is heaps of information out there about COVID-19 and news coverage on every channel. Every time you turn on the TV, radio station, or scroll through social media, you’re likely to come across some form of information about COVID-19 and this can be overwhelming. Stick to reputable sources which can provide you with accurate information.

I hope these tips are helpful in guiding you through this challenging time. Stay safe and healthy. I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but as the Buddhist proverb says “this too shall pass”.

If you would like some support, why not give us a call? Our team of psychologists are here to help. Your Mind Matters Psychology Services is currently offering counselling support through Telehealth (phone or video sessions). For more information, visit https://yourmindmatters.net.au/covid-19/.

This blog was written by Maria Kampantais, psychologist at Your Mind Matters Psychology Services. She works with us 4 days per week (day and evening sessions) and is passionate about working with clients suffering from various anxiety disorders.

How YMM can support you during the COVID-19 pandemic

laura on 22/03/2020

SUPPORTING OUR COMMUNITY AND CLIENTS

In the wake of community concerns around COVID-19, we’re committed to providing our clients with ongoing support, so that you can continue working on your health and well-being.

WHAT CAN YOU (AND WE) DO TO REDUCE RISK OF INFECTION?
We are committed to ensuring our team are healthy when they are at work. We are equally committed to reducing your risk of exposure to illness while attending your appointments with us.

We are following Department of Health guidelines around hygiene and encourage you to do the same:

Cough into your elbow
Throw away used tissues
Wash hands for a minimum 20 seconds regularly, or use hand sanitiser often
Stay home if you are unwell
Follow the guidelines and recommendations set by the Department of Health and self-exclude if you have been to any of the countries with exclusion periods or have been in contact with someone with confirmed or suspected COVID-19. We also ask that you not attend the practice when you are unwell regardless of whether you think this may be COVID-19 or a cold or flu

We are ensuring team members remain at home if they are unwell.

Likewise, we ask that you reschedule your appointments with us at the first sign of ill-health.

WHAT IF MY CLINICIAN IS ISOLATED BUT WELL ENOUGH TO RUN MY SESSION?
Our clinicians are experienced at offering sessions via telephone or video-chat (telehealth). If your clinician is isolated, but well enough to conduct sessions, you will be offered a telehealth consultation.

WHAT IF I’M ISOLATED BUT WELL ENOUGH TO HAVE MY SESSION?
If you need to cancel your appointment due to isolation, you will be offered teleheath options as an alternative to cancelling.

HOW ARE TELEHEALTH SESSIONS CHARGED?
Sessions fees cover the time spent with your clinician. Therefore, we charge our normal fee for telehealth sessions. NDIS self-managed or Plan Managed clients are able to use their funds for phone and online sessions also. Private clients (those who pay upfront, with or without a Medicare rebate), please check with your private health insurer to see if you can access a rebate under these circumstances.

HOW DO I PAY FOR A TELEHEALTH SESSION?

You can pay for sessions via credit card, which is stored in our secure encrypted system (using Stripe with Power Diary), or we can send you an invoice and ask that you transfer funds as soon as possible (within 48 hours).

If you have any questions please call us on 03 9802 4654.

HOW DO I PREPARE FOR ONLINE SESSIONS?

Prior to your appointment:

If you are a new client and haven’t signed our new consent form, our admin team will send you some forms to complete. Please print, sign, and email back to us. You will need to return this prior to your first online session. Your Psychologist will email you an invite confirming the time of your appointment, and information regarding what telehealth platform they will use. If they use Zoom, you will receive instructions on how to use it. Here is a little video that outlines how to join a zoom session https://youtu.be/vFhAEoCF7jg.

If they use PowerDiary, all you need to do is click the link at the time of your appointment. So easy!

Make sure at the time of your appointment, you have a quite, private place, and ideally have a notebook with you, so you can take down any notes, ideas, or insights.

Troubleshooting:

Make sure that you have a full battery in preparation
Practice placing the phone, iPad, laptop or computer in a suitable location so that your psychologist can see you
Make sure the camera and audio are turned on (it is a good idea to practice before your scheduled session time)

If at the time of the session, you aren’t able to connect, we will call you instead!

FAQ ABOUT TELEHEALTH

What if I don’t have the same connection online or on the phone as I do in person?

This is a concern that most of us have had, which is understandable when we are used to face to face interactions. However, most clients report that after a few minutes, and they adjust to the new interface and way of connecting, that video-chat is just as effective! Of course, this may not be everyone’s experience, but it certainly can work under the right circumstances and is better than no support at all.

The first session may be a bit strange and you may be more focused on how the camera is angled or how your voice sounds etc. but once you have settled in, you will likely notice that it feels the same. If it doesn’t, tell your practitioner and work through why and what is happening for you around the connection.

I am not tech savvy, is it complicated?

We use Power Diary (our practice management software) or Zoom (similar to Skype or Facetime, but more secure, check out their privacy policy https://zoom.us/privacy/) and set up the meeting on our end. We then email you a link with any information you need to sign in.

If we login to the meeting and cannot see you online, we will give you a call. That way, if you are struggling to set up, we can help walk you through the steps. Having said that, if your device doesn’t wish to cooperate, we’ll chat over the phone instead.

Benefits

The beauty of telehealth is that you can be in isolation, and still access support! You don’t need to leave the house, and you can even stay in your PJ’s all day if you like (we don’t mind!) Given the current situation with social distancing as a response to COVID19, online therapy could be a game changer for anyone seeking support!

We truly hope that this pandemic is short lived, but in the meantime, we’re here to help.

Please call us on 039802 4654 if you have any other questions.

Best wishes, stay safe, and we hope to see you soon!

From all of us at YMM Psychology.

Accessing Support over our Christmas Closure

laura on 13/12/2019

Christmas can be a challenging time of year for some of our clients, so we thought it may be helpful to share some resources.

For 24 hour telephone support, you can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14

Mensline: 24/7 support for men: 1300 78 99 78

Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 457

Headspace- 1800 650 890 (for young people aged between 12 and 25)

SANE offer support via phone and website from 10am-10pm, head to SANE.org

If you prefer to talk face-to-face, try to speak with a trust friend or family member, or book an appointment with your GP, who will also be able to link you in with services.

We have quite a number of blogs dedicated to self-care on our website, which you may also enjoy reading, and there are many apps (free!) aimed to help with stress management (Calm, Happify, and Headspace are amongst the most popular).

The Relationship Between Diet and Mood

laura on 17/05/2019

Why is eating healthy also good for your mind and mood?

It’s a no brainer that eating healthy can improve your physical wellbeing. However, did you know that eating healthy can also improve your mental wellbeing? In this blog, we discuss some exciting research that suggest that what we eat can also affect how we think and feel.

The Food and Mood Centre (Deakin University) recently published a ground-breaking study looking at the relationship between diet and depression. Participants diagnosed with moderate to severe depression were randomly allocated to receive either dietary support or social support group. The dietary group had seven consultation sessions with a nutritional expert and were encouraged to adopt a modified Mediterranean diet – lots of fruit, vegetables, wholegrains and healthy fats. The social support group had seven sessions with a researcher in which they engaged in neutral conversations. At the end of the 3-month trial, the results showed that the dietary group had a greater reduction in depressive symptoms compared to the social support group. Overall, this research provides strong evidence that dietary changes should be considered in the treatment of depression.

Now let’s look at two main reasons why changing diet can affect your mood. First, there is a lot of research which shows that beyond just digesting food, the gut can influence what goes on in our brain (Enders, 2015; Mayer, 2016). Scientists have found that the lining of the human gut wall contains a network of nerves that is as large and complex as the brain. This ‘gut-brain’ can talk to the brain through a vagus nerve and affect different areas in the brain that control emotion, fear, self-awareness and motivation. Also, most of the signals that travel along the vagus nerve come from the gut not the brain. Interestingly, scientists have found that stimulating the vagus nerve alone can make a person feel more anxious or relaxed. Therefore, in 2010, the European Union approved the use of vagus nerve stimulation for severely depressed patients that did not respond to conventional treatment.

Second, recent research suggests that the type of bacteria in your gut can affect your motivation and mood. New antidepressants are often first tested on ‘depressed’ mice who are forced to swim around a container of water too deep for them to stand; mice who take the antidepressants should swim longer than mice who do not. Some scientists took this further and fed some mice with a strain of ‘good’ gut bacteria (Lactobacillus rhamnosus JB-1). The result was that mice with the ‘good’ gut flora swam longer. Essentially, this means that eating food that encourage ‘good’ gut bacteria – such as yoghurt, sauerkraut and kimchi – is not only good for your immune system but also good for your mood!

We’ve only just skimmed the surface of the fascinating world of gut-brain psychology. There is also so much that we still don’t know about the gut-brain connection, gut bacteria and how it is related to how we think and feel. However, we can definitely say that what we put into our gut has a strong effect on how we think and feel. Maybe there is scientific truth to the idea that we are what we eat ☺

If you would like some support with managing your mood through diet, why not give us a call? Our team of highly-skilled psychologists are here to help.

References:

Cryan, J C. & Dinan, T. (2012). Mind-altering microorganisms: the impact of the gut microbiota on brain and behaviour. Nature Reviews, 12, pp 701-712.

Enders, G. (2015). Gut: The inside story of our body’s most underrated organ. Melbourne-London: Scribe.

Jacka, F.N. et al. (2017). A randomised controlled trial of dietary improvement for adults with major depression (the ‘SMILES’ trial). BMC Medicine. 15 (1), 23.

Mayer, E. A. (2016). The mind-gut connection: how the hidden conversation within our bodies impacts our mood, our choices, and our overall health. New York: Harper Collins.

How to cope when you can’t fall pregnant

laura on 10/04/2019

We all have those friends or family members who seem to fall pregnant the instant they decide to have a child. This is fantastic for them, however, for those who have been trying for months to conceive, or maybe years, the news can be bitter-sweet. What hurts even more is when people ask “when are you going to start a family!?”, not realising you have been trying and agonising over it, or when you see, yet again, ANOTHER negative pregnancy test result.

Every month, if you have a 28-day cycle, is a waiting game. There’s hoping, but also not wanting to get your hopes up. Lots of Googling about what could possibly help with falling pregnant. Oh, and don’t forget all the money you’ve spent on ovulation tests, pregnancy tests, and (for those further along the journey) specialist appointments. There’s the feeling of grief when you get your period, there’s tears, feelings of inadequacy, anger, and sometimes sheer despair.

A lot of people don’t realise that you don’t have to lose a child or a pregnancy to experience loss, stress, grief, and a sense of hopelessness. They also don’t realise that when you reach out for help and to talk it out, that “you’re stressing too much, try to relax” is not helpful.

This is why accessing professional support can be so helpful. Falling pregnant can be extremely difficult, and more distressing than most people realise (unless they have been through it themselves). And whilst I would love for you to call us and book in if you are facing this very issue, I know that your journey is yours, and you need to do what’s right for you at this point in time. So, what can you do to help yourself?

Get educated – You need to learn how your cycle works – start tracking it in an app. Many women have cycles which are not 28 days in length, which could mean you aren’t trying to conceive when you are actually ovulating (you can purchase ovulation kits to help you work this out).
Speak to your GP – they may be able to conduct some tests, provide you with some more information, or refer you to a specialist if they have reasons to believe you need extra intervention.
Take better care of yourself – this means eating well, taking time to unwind, to exercise, and have fun. Start cutting out things that aren’t good for your body, such as smoking, binge drinking, or taking illicit drugs. Think about what makes you happy, and DO IT. Do the things you may not be able to do as easily if you start a family.
Connect with others on the same journey – there are lots of supportive Facebook groups you can join where people share their stories, resources, and a laugh.
Remember, you have options! IVF has come a long way and is now more accessible and affordable than ever with private (e.g. Monash and Melbourne IVF) and public IVF clinics available in Melbourne (e.g. Adora Fertility, formerly Primary IVF).
Talk it out with someone you trust – sometimes just talking it out can make the world of difference. Bear in mind, your trusted person will try to alleviate your worries by offering advice or solutions, but if you just need them to sit and listen, let them know. If you want them to distract you, say so. Ask for what you need.
Let go of your expectations, “shoulds” and the comparing – Don’t compare yourself to the person who fell pregnant within their first month of trying. Mind you, this is quite unusual – 8 months is the average time it takes for a woman to conceive! Also, let go of all the “shoulds” you have (e.g. “I should be pregnant by now”). These thoughts are not helpful. If you find yourself doing this, kindly remind yourself that you’re doing your best and do something nice for yourself.
If you’ve been trying to fall pregnant for over a year, ask your GP to refer you to a specialist – Specialists can check if you are actually ovulating, if there are any medical issues which need addressing (e.g. PCOS, partner’s low sperm count), and guide you on the best way to move forward.

Remember, this is a journey, and your journey is unique. How you navigate your way through is totally up to you. If at any time on your journey you’d like some extra support, give our office a call. We’re always here to help.

About the author:

This blog was written by Laura Forlani, Director and Clinical Psychologist at Your Mind Matters.

Laura has experience helping adults overcome a wide variety of difficulties such as mood and anxiety disorders, problems arising due to changes in personal circumstances (e.g. family breakdown or a change in career) and has a special interest in helping clients on their journey to becoming parents.

Laura’s approach to therapy involves education, collaboration, and evidence-based interventions such as cognitive-behaviour therapy, skills training, and relaxation strategies.

Goal Setting

laura on 11/02/2019

Goal setting is the process of creating an action plan with the aim of motivating a person towards a goal. It is an important part of personal development. Every individual will endeavour to set goals for themselves at some point. The most popular goals are those which we call ‘New Year’s Resolutions’. This tradition focuses on setting goals towards changing an undesirable trait or behaviour, and therefore improve one’s life. This tradition of goal setting is likely so popular as people want to start the year anew. However, it doesn’t need to be the start of a new year for you to set some goals around important areas of your life.

Ever tried to set a goal for yourself and found you couldn’t follow through? Most will answer YES! A lack of success in goal setting doesn’t mean that we aren’t as capable as those who seem to achieve all the goals they set. It might just mean that the integral aspect of goal setting known as the action plan, has been missed, meaning that you haven’t thoroughly planned out your goal or thought about how you will go about achieving the goals you set. Often people will not achieve their goals because they are too broad and/or are not realistic given the circumstances. For example, one might set the goal ‘To lose weight’. This goal is very broad and doesn’t tell us any information about what needs to be done to achieve this goal and how we will know when the goal is achieved. So, let’s say the goal was to lose 20 kilograms. In and of itself, this is quite a lot of weight to lose, and the goal has been set quite high. Larger goals should be broken down into smaller, more achievable goals. While the goal to lose 20 kilograms is still there, the focus is on the short-term goal. These small goals lead to achieving the long-term goal. Here’s how it is done…

We can follow the SMART goal setting framework to help create an action plan for goal setting:

S = Specific: Goals should be well defined. Be specific about what you want to achieve.

M = Measurable: Ensure that you can measure the goal over time so you know how far away from completion it is.

A = Achievable: The goal needs to be attainable and one that can be reached successfully.

R = Realistic: The goal should be realistic given the current circumstance and availability of time, knowledge or resources.

T = Timely: Set enough time to complete the goal. Not setting enough time can impact on the overall success of the goal.

Using the SMART goals framework and the weight loss example mentioned above, here is our new SMART goal:

To lose 3 kilograms per month, for the next 7 months, by engaging in regular exercise (1-hour gym workout, 4 times per week) and sticking to an eating regime lower in carbohydrates.

Let’s look at how this goal fits within the SMART goal framework:

Specific & Achievable: We have specifically outlined what we want to achieve i.e. to lose 3 kilograms each month and have outlined how this will be achieved, i.e. by engaging in exercise and sticking to an eating regime
Measurable: We can measure progress towards this goal each month
Realistic: It is realistic given that the action plan involves healthy eating and exercise which we know aid in weight loss
Timely: We have set a time-limit of monthly review and want to have achieved the goal in 7 months.

When you follow the SMART goal setting framework, your chances of achieving your goals are a lot higher. Wishing you all the best of luck on your goal setting journey.

If you are finding it challenging to set personal goals and would like some support, why not give us a call? Our team of highly skilled and well-experienced Psychologists are here to help. Call us now and take that first step towards obtaining the life you deserve.